~Decisions~

~chapter 105~

Tw: panic attack and flashback of torture

Still on the plane

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*dreaming/ flashback *

"Don't fucking move or it's gonna hurt more!" Jason yells. My breath hitches. He's squeezing me to tight. "Jason it hurts!" I yell. "Let me go don't do that!" I yell again. He pulls up my skirt. He pulls off his belt. He smacks me. I whimper. He lets me go. "That was only the first hit" he says. I look at him with a fearful face and teary eyes.

I lean against the wall. I try to calm my breathing. He swings his belt hitting me in the arm. I let out a scream. "Stop that hurts!" I yell. He hits me and then hits me again. I try to crawl away. He smacks my body with his belt repeatedly. He moves up my skirt hitting my legs. I whimper and scream in pain. "Stop!" I yell.

"That's gonna numb you for a while" he says. He pulls out a knife. I look at him in horror. I let out a sob and a scream. "Don't do that!" I yell. He pulls me towards him. "Please don't!" I yell. He covers my mouth with his hands. He places the knife on my thigh and cuts me. I let out a scream. "That'll teach you not to go dressed out like that" he says.

* end of dream/ flashback*

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I jump up from my position. I wipe my eyes and see it's wet. I release a breath. I lean against the wall and hug myself. Letting out a sob full of fear. My hands go sweaty and my heart starts to race. I squeeze my eyes shut letting out another sob full of fear. Panicking.

I take a shaky deep breath. I let out a scream and hug my body. I burry my head in my knees taking in deep breath. The door bursts open. Jackson and the boys. "Fuck" Jackson curses. He sits besides me. He grabs me.

"Okay! It's okay I got you!" He says. I look at him. I let out another sob. "In and out" Jackson says. I try breathing in and out of my nose. It's no use. I let out another sob. I shake my head. "I-I c-can't" I say. He sits in front of me and pulls my legs straight. Placing his hands to stop the shaky ness.

"Lydia he's dead! He can't hurt you anymore!" Jackson says looking at me. I take in a shallow shaky breath. "Jackson I-I c-can't" I say to him. He looks at me. I continue sobbing. I look up at the ceiling. Then back down at him.

He pulls my hands towards him. He holds my hands as he looks at me. "Just stare at me" he says. "Right at me" he says. I look at him. My breathing now calming down. My body still shaking. I let out a soft sob. "It's okay. I got you. Look at me" he says. "In and out, Okay?" He says. I breath in and out. He lets my hands go slowly. I sob again.

"Don't l-let g-go t-till I s-say" I say panicking again just a bit. "Okay. Look at me. Breath. Princess. Breath" he says. He grabs my hands in his. My breathing very shallow. I stare at him. He squeezes my hands 3 times.

"Look at me and take another deep breath" he says. "He can't hurt you anymore. No one can hurt you anymore lydia. You are safe. Very safe" he says. My eyes water again. "Shh it's okay. Don't cry" he says. My shaky body finally coming to a stop. He looks at me. I just stare at him. He places my hands on my thighs. I follow his gaze. "You are in your safe zone. You are safe princess" he says. "You're safe" he says. I look at him. I lean against the wall.

"Take a few minutes to fully recover princess. I'll be right outside" he says. I slowly nod my head. He stands up and walks outside with tear stained faced boys. I close my eyes and take a few other deep breaths. I stand up. I slowly open the door. They turn around and face me. I wrap my arms around Jackson and hug him. "Thank you" I whisper. "Always" he whisper as he kisses the top of my head. He grabs my hand as we walk to the couch. I sit down with him.

"You alright now?" He says. I look at him. "Yeah I'm alright now" I whisper back. "Just tired" I say. "You're always tired though" he says. I giggle. "Yeah I guess I am" I say with a small smile.

Jackson and BTS POV

Jackson:
"I know it's hard seeing her more closer to jungkook but in the bad times you left her in, he was there for her, that's why they are close. Plus they lost something both of them shared. Using him to punish her isn't a good thing" I say to them. "Look my cousins been through hell. Jason did the exact same thing but worse, that is why she stopped fighting you in the end" I say to jungkook.

"She doesn't mean what's she does. She thought you guys were playing but from the looks of it, not anymore" I say to them. "I need you guys to take care of her. Love her. Be there for her and let her know she's safe. And Tae, enough with Jennie already" I say to him.

I hear soft sobs but shake it off thinking it's my imagination but hear them again and then a scream. My eyes slowly water. I jump up with the boys following behind. I burst through the door and see a feared girl against the wall. I curse softly.

BTS:
Seeing the way he cares for our wife like his own sister is very precious. Seeing our wife against the wall having a panic attack and us not knowing what to do besides Jackson fucks us up. We cause this. This is our problem. We need to fix it and show her that we do all really love her, that we want her, and that we want her to be safe.

To be patient in hard moments like these. We look towards jungkook but we shouldn't have, to see his all tear stained face. We look back at them and start crying ourselfs. What's with the squeezing her hands 3 times for?

Lydia's POV

"I have to go to the bathroom I'll be back" Jackson says. I slowly nod my head.

"I'm sorry"

Hope you like this chapter! I cried writing it so!