Chapter 45: Where It All Started

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Warning mature content: this chapter is sensitive and has vulgar words that can trigger mental health.

If you aren't strong enough to read, do not force yourself, you can skip this to the next chapter.





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"She has a history of psychosis"



"She had brief psychotic episodes, two years after you migrated to London" he said and Yuna widened her eyes from the information.

"What made her go through that phase?" She asked.

"Lisa, she's..uhm" he paused. "She's probably the best..." "the greatest female trainee that YG ever had," he started.

"She top notches every monthly evaluation she has, from singing, to dancing, anything" "She doesn't need any help.. in fact she would voluntarily raise her hand if anyone wanted for help" he said.

"I remember the first time I sneaked into their dorm with Namjoon hyung, the girls have been asking us to help them with their composition... or an advice but there's lisa already doing good with her own"

"That's when I realized that she.."

"She's a prodigy in everything, her rap, her vocal, her natural talent for modeling, and most especially her charisma everytime she dances"

"Basically no one would ever take her spot on the leading board, there's this reward that their boss give them to the top one trainee every month" "And she would always get it"

"That's also the reason why we met on Yang Sajangnim's office, her reward that time was the Thai goods from her mom"

"I can still remember her eagerness to create her own choreography for their next evaluation even at 3am" "I was mad at her when I found out she was going alone at YG's old building at 3am just to finish her dance steps"

"I swear you wouldn't imagine me sneaking into their dorm late at night before to prevent her from doing so, and her 3am practice would be at least 6 or 7 am" "I would even accompany her to the building just to make sure she's safe, then I'll go back and sleep on our dorm after that"he laughs remembering their past.

"But at that time, I didn't know she was already struggling on her own" "She was already getting bullied inside that building" "Physically, emotionally, and mentally" his smile faded.

"Even her members didn't know she was getting bullied by other trainees" "She became their easy target because she was at the top" "They wanted to ruin her, and threatened her that they'll hurt her if she says a thing"

"I was so furious when she confessed everything after her recovery that they told her that she was a slut or gold digger cause I'm always at their dorm" "They told her she was a cheap skate, a dirty slut, who would sell her own body for fame"

"What?" "They said that?" Yuna covered her mouth from shock.

"Yes," He said. "Believe it or not, they said it to her" "And she kept it all to herself"
"Until she became unusually talkless" "She hardly sleeps" "She shut herself off, and spend her time practicing and practicing on the dance studio all by herself" "She had that freedom because I wasn't there to stop her"

"We are on America at that time trying so hard to promote our first concert there" "We hardly even have an audience at that time" "I'm also struggling with my own, I didn't know she was already suffering from her prodromal phase of psychosis"

[Prodromal phase — early symptoms of psychosis cause from anxiety/ lack of sleep / early stage of depression]

"Her members say she had been out of their touch, they don't see her anywhere that worries them a lot" "She would only present herself if they're in practice and on evaluation" he paused, asking himself If he could really tell what happened to her but then he already told her this far.

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