CHAPTER 67 - TO GO HOME

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After they finished watching their memories, nurses came in to take Harry back to his room, where there was a smoothie waiting for him.

He swallowed, the fear returning as he sat criss-cross in his bed. He could see his nasal tubing on a tray next to a few utensils, sitting there like a threat.

"I can leave if you need me to," Draco said before even taking a seat.

"No," Harry said. "Stay."

Harry held the cup, staring at it. You're disgusting if you eat this. He's going to think you're worthless and leave you.

"What's it like," Draco asked.

"Like... if I drink this, you'll leave me because I'm worthless."

"Is that what it's telling you?"

Harry nodded, the familiar fear returning. "It's like the beginning of a panic attack. That type of anxiety, and then this calming voice that talks me out of it by convincing me not to eat."

"It's separate from you," he asked.

"I think so. It sounds like me, but..."

"What if we gave it a name? Do you think that might help you?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "Like Umbitch."

Harry's eyes lit up as he gave a mischievous grin. "I like where this is going."

"She was one of the worst manipulative liars, wasn't she?"

"She was shit," Harry said, before drinking from the cup.

"Ha! Fuck you, Umbitch." Draco put up a hand and Harry high-fived it softly.

Harry drank half of it, and after he did, they gave him a bulking potion, which again, he took half of.

"Any time you're told to do anything harmful to yourself, or something tells you you're not enough—any time anything ugly comes out of your brain, tell yourself it's Umbridge."

"Whatever works," Harry nodded.

But it was still difficult. His stomach cramped because it wasn't used to the food, and he was exhausted from digesting it. And, of course, he felt guilty.

"Umbridge always tried to make you feel guilty. But she was wrong about everything, wasn't she? It was pointless and a waste of time to listen to her."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "She did. She was a waste of time."

Later in the evening, there was a small morsel of bread on a plate in front of him. It took him over an hour to eat, but he did it and cried afterwards, but Draco still made sure to have him celebrate, anyway.

As night fell, they cuddled. "If I could do anything," Harry said. "Anything in the world, besides disappear and go into hiding for at least a year, it would be form a board for Hogwarts and be on that counsel and I'd vet every single professor ever hired, and I would make it so that Hogwarts could house students over the summer if needed."

"That sounds lovely," Draco said. "Really lovely."

"I dunno," Harry thought, "I don't want to work for the ministry, but maybe, after I get over my pure hatred for Kingsley, I'll talk to him about it. Maybe make some policies."

Draco gave an encouraging nod, and couldn't help revel in the face that Harry was making plans when only a few days ago he'd wished he would have died in surgery. "How's everything with Kingsley?"

"As you can tell from my memories, I wanted to murder him."

"Yeah, that doctor was shitty for reading your diary."

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