Just Remember You Will Always Burn As Bright (Gerard Way x Reader)

(Chapter 12) The Current State of Affairs

The bright sun blared through the window as I stirred. Once again I awoke occupying the bed with Gerard. I smiled for a second before remembering the current state of affairs. Due to these thoughts, I cuddled closer to Gerard, almost as if his touch would make the problems go away. In response, he tightened his arms that were around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

"Don't think about it, Sugar. I know Quinn would want you to be strong and not harp on it. We could visit again if you want?" He murmured, running his fingers through my hair. 

"This afternoon we'll go. I want to see her, but I can't bear to see her like that. It crushed me to see her so unlike herself. I need a little while beforehand." I whispered back.

"Alright then whenever you're ready," he replied. 

He was so understanding of the situation and what was going on in my head. I was immensely grateful that he was there for me. If I only had my mothers to confide in, I wouldn't be able to be so easily understood. Don't mistake me, I love my mothers dearly but they don't have the same grasp of my mind. 

"Did you sleep ok? Did you have any more nightmares?" He inquired with a hint of concern lacing his words.

"It was only that one besides that, I slept fine," I said and he nodded in return.

"It's nearing ten-thirty now, we should get up." He said, pulling away from me slightly.

I groaned and pulled him back, hugging his torso so he couldn't leave. "Five more minutes..." I grumbled, which he chuckled at. 

"Fine," he shook his head and got comfortable again. 

Gerard had finally dragged me out of bed by eleven, which most certainly wasn't five minutes. We walked downstairs, still in our pajamas. I hopped up onto the counter to sit and Gerard began to brew a pot of coffee. 

Once he was finished fixing the coffee, he handed me mine and began cooking breakfast.

"Do you want to do anything before we go to see her?" He asked as he popped some bread in the toaster. 

"Not really, I don't have the energy right now," I said, rubbing my still tired eyes. 

He walked over and lifted my chin and said, "Well that's fine, I get it." He smiled and pecked my lips. 

Gerard resumed cooking and once he was finished, we sat down at the dinner table together. We began to eat, making casual conversation.  I had woken up fully by then since I had my coffee. When we were finished we went to clean up our dishes. 

I leaned on the counter as Gerard washed the plates. Gerard was in the middle of a story about him and the guys when a ringing sound filled the kitchen. It was our landline phone. I didn't know exactly why we had one, everybody that lived in the house had cell phones. 

I sighed slightly annoyed at the probable telemarketer calling. 

"Hello?" I said, unenthused.

"Hello, is this the L/n residence?" The unknown lady asked over the line.

"Yes it is, who am I speaking with?" I questioned, furrowing my brows.

"Oh pardon me, I'm calling from the hospital. I have news on the current state of affairs with your family member. Is this her sister ?" She responded, her voice taking on a serious tone midway through.

"Yes ma'am, what's going on? Is she okay?" I egged her on. 

"I'm sorry I have to inform you, but Quinn passed away this morning. She put up a good fight, but evidently, she was too injured in the car crash. I offer my condolences, Miss L/n." She said solemnly. 

"Thank you for letting me know," Is the only thing I could muster, and I was barely holding it together just to say that one sentence.

I hung up and dropped the phone without care, hanging my head and letting the tears flow and the noise of sobbing reverberate through the room. Gerard rushed to me instantly holding me and rocking me back and forth in a calming manner. He didn't know the point of my tears, and he didn't bother with asking yet. He just let the seconds tick to minutes as I continued to break down. 

I pulled away from him, letting the last few tears fall. He looked into my broken e/c eyes with his glistening hazel ones. He has such distress hidden behind them, keeping himself composed to the best of his ability. He looked like he was holding in tears of his own, most definitely from seeing me like this. I felt terribly guilty for making him feel this way.

"She's dead," I said simply, but those two words felt like someone ripped my heart to shreds. I tried my hardest to not start weeping again, but that was no effortless task. 

"I'm so sorry, so so sorry." He whispered in my ear as he squeezed me tight in another hug. The damns finally breaking once again and the tears streamed down my cheeks.

He picked me up bridal style and carried me back to my bed. He knew as well as I that I was gonna be here for the next couple of days. We both laid back down and I hid my head in Gerard's chest once more. 

That was how the next few hours were spent, Gerard offering comfort that I felt guilty for excepting. We had barely been together for three days and I felt like I was being way too needy. I must've been sucking the life out of the man. If I was, he was doing a damn good job of hiding his feelings.

"I'm gonna go get some stuff from my house okay? I'll be back in like twenty minutes." He said. I nodded and he kissed me before heading off.

He got back as he said, twenty minutes later. He brought a duffel bag that contained about a week's worth of clothes and other things one needs on a daily basis. 

Sometime after he returned, my mothers arrived. Amy prepared dinner to the best she could. I bet she struggled with cooking that meal, they both had probably just heard the news. 

Gerard tried to coax me into going down to eat, but I stayed put. He even brought it up to me, but still, I didn't eat. I couldn't possibly fathom the thought of eating under the given circumstances. So, the plate of macaroni and cheese went untouched on my bedside table, after a while growing too cold and disgusting to be able to eat if I wanted to.

Gerard crawled into bed next to me and turned off the lamp. It was time to go to sleep which  I was dreading. My eyes finally gave up the fight to stay awake and I dipped into sleep. But not for long of course, because the nightmares returned to keep me awake.