Just Remember You Will Always Burn As Bright (Gerard Way x Reader)

(Chapter 22) We'll Carry On

~Gerard's POV~

I slipped out of bed, rubbed my sleepy eyes, and climbed upstairs. I stumbled over to the coffee machine, making my morning coffee as usual. As I leaned against the counter I thought of the day ahead. I definitely wasn't eager for the day's activities, but I wasn't absolutely dreading it. After finishing my cup, I wandered back downstairs to get dressed. 

I put on a regular outfit and slid on a leather jacket. I ran my fingers through my short white hair before trudging back upstairs and out the door. The cemetery wasn't too far, so I decided to walk. The brisk January air gusted causing me to pull my jacket tighter around myself. I just held my gaze down toward the slightly snow-covered sidewalk and hurried to the cemetery gates. 

I crept into the almost silent graveyard, the only noise being the howl of the wind and the occasional chirp of a bird. I sauntered over to the all too familiar grave of my love, Y/n. 

Some years had elapsed since her passing. The guys and I formed a successful rock band called, My Chemical Romance a short while after we all finished college. I had never thought our band of goofballs from a little town in Jersey could ever become so famous and known. It wasn't much the success that I lived for though, it was how much we could help people with our music. Part of the reason I aspired to speak out about mental health, besides my own experiences, was because of Y/n. If I could at least help one person from the pain and eventual end like Y/n's I would, and apparently, I have. I think she would have loved to see one of our performances, given that she loved it when I would sing to her. I like to think she would be proud that I made it.

Unfortunately with touring and having to create new music, I didn't have much time back in Jersey. Which meant I usually didn't have time to visit her grave. So, since I was about to jet off on the Black Parade world tour, I thought I should pay it a visit. 

I knelt down, resting a small bouquet of flowers against her tombstone. I brushed off the inch or so of snow covering the top, then slowly trailed my hand down over where her name was chiseled into the now slightly mossy stone. Eventually, I brought my hands to rest on my bent knees. 

"I still miss you so much every day," I whispered to myself. "I could never stop missing you, even after all these years," I added with a tear threatening to escape. 

I would never fully move on, not even if I got married and had a happy family. Even though I would find someone new to give my love to, my heart would still remember the girl that stole mine first. You may think that I was being dramatic since it was just a relationship between two high schoolers, but ours was something different. 

Now, Julia and I's relationship was just another high school fling that would be forgotten as soon as the week after we broke up. There never were any strong emotions between the two of us; it was more of just a 'well I think you're mildly attractive so let's date just because we're hormonal teenagers' kind of thing. 

But Y/n and I had something that I don't think I would ever feel again or in the same way. She was everything to me, and she still was a major part of my life even though she's gone. She and I had such chemistry that led to something so strong, yet sadly short-lived. I wish we could have been together forever. 

I started to hum as I closed my eyes, just remembering some of the good times we spent together. The violent wind nor the numbingly frigid snow that I was knelt on bothered me, both obsolete at that moment. 

"We'll carry on, we'll carry on, and though you're dead and gone, believe me, your memory will carry on~" I sang with the few tears that welled finally spilling.

"We'll carry on. And in my heart I can't contain it, the anthem won't explain it~" 

I continued the lyrics until the song came to a close, my voice slightly echoing throughout the cemetery on the last, 'we'll carry on'. With the last lyric sung, I rose to my feet with my eyes still closed, the snow lightly crunching and compressing under my footfall. I swear there was a faint feeling of someone leaving a ghostly kiss on my cheek, but it could have been my imagination. 

I slowly fluttered my eyes open to be met with nothing other than the sight of the lonely cemetery, just as it was when I'd arrived. Nothing had changed with the exception of the sun finally peeking out from behind the thick grey clouds that hung heavy over the graveyard. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. It was probably nothing more than a coincidence, but it did bring a sense of hope and dare I say overcoming to me. Even though the harsh cold stung my goosebump-covered skin, I still felt warm on the inside. 

With an adequate goodbye for now to her, I journeyed out of the cemetery gates with delightful times shared with her clouding my mind, which made me completely tune out the world around me. I walked unbothered down the street back toward my childhood home that I was staying at during my short vacation home. Soon I arrived and kicked off my shoes, returning to the comfort of my basement bedroom. I laid back on top of my bed, chuckling at the Star Wars bedsheets that after all these years were STILL on my bed. 

I would never forget Y/n; she would always burn bright in the guy's and I's memories, forever. 

~The End~

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A/n: Heyyy rats that's the end! I hope you enjoyed this fanfic. I know it was a sadder one but I know y'all have probably read more emotionally scarring shit on here before. So I'd love to hear any thoughts/complaints you got about this one. I definitely think it was an improvement from the last fic. Like my friend found that fanfic and I was reminded of how cringe and generally cliche the writing/plot was and I wanted to go hide in a cave for the rest of my life 'cause I was so embarrassed. 

Anywho I'm rambling, but first, the next fic should be out in a week or so. I'm not going to torture y'all with another high school AU (even though I have an adorable idea for one), so you get something in a whole different genre. It's of course another MCR one so ummm yeah. 

Okay so ya in the next one, have a lovely day rats -Sav