~Gerard's POV~
As I re-entered consciousness and my tear-ridden eyes opened, I realized I was in my bed. I wasn't in the discomfort of a hospital waiting room chair but in the solitude of my Star Wars bedsheets. A glimmer of hope arose in me. Maybe it was just a torturous nightmare.
I wiped my dried stream of tears and grabbed my phone, hastily dialing Y/n's number. It rang and rang until it finally went to voicemail. Any build-up hope came crashing down and a whole new wave of despair and melancholy washed over me.
Well maybe she was busy and couldn't get to the phone, my denial-filled mind flared. I lied face down on my pillow bawling my eyes out. My mind couldn't succumb to the fact, given the events that took place, how unlikely this was. So still I hung on to the fragment of hope and want for this to be just a sickening dream.
Eventually, there was a knock on the door. "Come i-in," my broken voice wavered.
My bedroom door slowly creaked open to reveal a visibly wrecked Frank. His eyes were red and puffy, tears streaks were apparent on his cheeks. His demeanor was completely contrary to his usual overjoyed-hyperactive puppy aura. I hadn't seen him like this for a long time.
"Hey Gerard, do you mind talking for a minute?" He asked as if I would care. I shook my head and readied myself for the obviously depressing conversation we were about to partake in.
"You can remember that Y/n was admitted yesterday right?" He opened and left a pause for my response. I simply nodded once more, unable to find my words.
"Well, she...s-she didn't make it. She passed not too long after you got there," he said teary-eyed, letting the weight of his words linger in the air.
More tears fell from both our eyes as he went on explaining. "After you blacked out you were brought back here. You didn't even get to say goodbye did you?" He asked with a sniffle.
"No, they wouldn't let me see her," I responded, looking down at my hands.
Soon, Frank wrapped his arms around me in a consoling embrace. I accepted the comfort and wrapped my arms around his torso in return, us just weeping into each other. "I just feel terrible, we could have done so much more to be there for her. She h-had such a bright future, this was completely preventable." I sobbed. "This was my fault I could have done m-more."
"Gee, this wasn't either of our faults. Yes, we could have done more to help her, but there's only so much wallowing in self-pity that you can do. I know if we could go back in time, we would change our actions and do better for her. But we can't now, sadly what's done is d-done." He affirmed.
I let his words sink in and pulled away with a nod, wiping my eyes. "These next few months are going to be terrible, but Y/n would want you to persist," Frank said truthfully.
He was definitely right, she absolutely would want me to go on without her and get through this rough patch. This is much easier said than done. Y/n meant so much to me that it was even hard to spend a day without her, nonetheless an entire lifetime.
"I'll try, but it's gonna hurt like a bitch." I choked out.
"I know, it's going to be horrible for all of us, but especially you." He said, standing up beside the bed.
"One last thing," he begins while taking something out of his interior pocket. "Here's her letter to you, it was found on her nightstand." He says, handing me an envelope.
With a sad, obviously faked smile, he exited the room.
~Time skip~
I had spent the next week in the seclusion of my room. I couldn't tell day from night anymore since the small window was draped over, it all just felt like a perpetual endless agony. The only events that happened besides my continual breakdowns were when either my mother or Mikey would deliver me a meal, which I would only pick at.
The envelope Frank gave me lied on my bedside table, me not having the courage to open the thing. But every so often I would go to get it over with and rip the letter open, only to recoil and lay it back where it's resided.
I sat up in bed letting out a shaky sigh, running a hand through my greasy hair. My eyes averted to the bright white envelope, looking upon it with hesitancy. I reached for it, holding it in both of my hands. I gazed upon the neatly printed 'Gee' on the front before finally ripping it open.
I slowly read through, savoring every word of the message and knowing that this was the last I would ever have of her. She recounted how we acted toward each other when we first met, which made my mind reel the moments like a movie.
I can still remember our first encounter like it was yesterday. She clumsily tripped on her untied shoelaces, falling right on top of me. I can remember how the scorching hot coffee seeped through my cotton tee and burned my skin. I had such an outburst at the girl, but she stood up to me which was a first. Even though I hated her with a passion, I was intrigued with her.
Throughout the letter, my eyes flooded with tears for the billionth time that week. This time even more sorrow-filled than the rest.
She conveyed desperately that she wanted me to remember her as she was before everything went to shit, which was just how I wanted to. I wanted to cherish the memories of us falling for each other whilst hanging out with the guys. The days where there was no care in the world, we would do anything if it meant a good time. I smiled through my tears at the reminiscence.
One of her last wishes was for me to carry on, the hardest thing I could have been asked by her. I know eventually, I'd have to re-enter society and shove my emotions down to put on a brave face, but it was going to be a heavy challenge to endure.
Even if I were to find someone new I love, I'd never be able to forget about her. She would always live on in my memory.
After rereading it, I folded the paper up and put it back in the envelope. I was never going to get rid of that letter, it was way too important to discard like any other junk mail you may receive. So, I kept it secure until the day I would move out, then bring it along with me.
Once that was done, I lied back down, pulling the covers over my head. I just wish she was here.
YOU ARE READING
Just Remember You Will Always Burn As Bright (Gerard Way x Reader)
FanfictionY/n and her family moved to Belleville, she thinks it's gonna be a walk in the park; Just your basic high school. Y/n even makes friends with Frank Iero on her first day in town. Maybe she'll finally have a solid friend group she thought. Little did...
