Toxic - Rudy Pankow

Twenty Two <3

||Rudy's POV||

"Rudy I'm going for a walk I'll see you later" Josie walks towards the door of the apartment and I furrow my eyebrows running over to her grabbing her by the arm to stop her and she flinches. She hadn't reacted like this towards my touch in months and it hurt me to think that she thought I would ever hurt her.

"Can I come with you?" I search her face with my eyes but all I get back is a blank expression. This isn't my usual Josie.

"No I just want some time alone okay? I'll be back in like an hour" without another word she leaves the apartment and leaves me standing there wondering what was happening with her.

It was only two days ago that we were happily swimming and messing around together but the next day it was as if she was a completely different person. She was cold towards me and spent most of her day shut in the bedroom. The only time I really saw her was when she came out to get something to eat or drink, even then she barely spoke. She was short with me and didn't let me touch her. I had been racking my brain for the last two days straight trying to figure out what I had done wrong to make her change towards me.

The possibility of me leaving her all of the time to go to interviews was the only reason that I could think of. But she said that it was fine and she understood. Being sick of not knowing I decided to call Madelyn to see if she knew and if she had maybe spoken to her at all over the last few day. Maybe she could help me. I pull my phone out and press on her contact putting the phone to my ear.

Hellooo Rudy, what can I do for you on this fine day?

Hey Mads, have you spoken to Josie recently?

Not really no, you're the one who lives with her buddy

Look she's been acting really off and I don't know what's wrong with her. She won't talk to me she won't let me touch her. I don't know what to do

She's probably just on her period. When I'm on mine I don't talk to Chase for like a whole week. Don't stress about it

Okay yea, you're probably right. Thanks for the help Mads

Anytime buddy

I then end the call placing my phone on the counter leaning over it sighing. I really do hope that Madelyn is right because I can't lose her. She means everything to me.

A few minutes later the door to the apartment swings open a Josie walks in I carefully watch her from my position on the sofa and much to my surprise she comes and joins me. Even more to my surprise she leans into me, I wrap my arms around her and gently rub her arm.

"Are you okay baby? I'm here for you" my voice is light in hopes that I'm not upsetting her.

"I'm good I'm just tired" I just nod at her not wanting to push her any further.

"So one of JD's friends are having a party tonight and we are all invited, would you want to go? If you don't feel like it then just say and I'm happy to stay in with you" maybe getting out around other people was what she needed.

"Uhh yea sure" she mumbles and falls back into a daydream.

For the rest of the day we stay on the sofa just watching tv. Most of the time we are silent apart from the occasional light hearted talking. Things feel like they are maybe actually coming together again.

Josie then gets up from the sofa and trails off to the bedroom I'm assuming to get ready. Seeming I won't take as long I leave her to it for a while before I start hearing the slamming of doors coming from the bedroom. I quickly make my way over to the bedroom to make sure that Josie is okay just to find her frantically ripping her clothing out of the drawers and throwing them onto the floor.

"Josie babe what the hell are you doing" the sound of my voice in the room pulls her from her trance and she looks at me with tears streaming down my face. I immediately go straight to her to pull her into a hug but she jumps away from me.

"Don't touch me Rudy!" Hurt washes over me to hear that she doesn't want me to be near her. All I was trying to do was help. "I can't - I can't find anything to wear I don't know what to wear" sobs leave her mouth and I'm confused.

"That's what all of this is about?" I question waving my arms gesturing to the mess around me that she had somehow created. I chuckle slightly.

"Wow I believed Madelyn when she said that she doesn't talk to Chase for like a week when she's on her period but she did warn me about this part" I light heartedly chuckle trying to joke around with Josie but she glares at me.

"Excuse me?" Her voice is filled with disgust.

"I was worried about you so I called Madelyn to see if she knew what was wrong and she told me not to worry because you were probably just on your period. She didn't warn me that you were going to freak out over finding something to wear though" I smile at her explaining myself expecting her to find humour in the conversation.

"See well thats just it Rudy. It's not my fucking period and that's the whole problem!" as the words fall from her lips I stand there shocked and frozen in place, the feeling of sickness washes over my body.

"Y-you- you're" my words stumble in my mouth and she cuts me off.

"Yes Rudy I'm pregnant. Happy now?" all colour drains from my face as soon as the words leave her lips. No way could this be possible. She couldn't be. I wasn't ready for this. I'm only 23.

"Rudy say something please" her voice is now soft and I can hear the need in her voice but I can't do it. I can't give her the words and reassurance that she wants.

"Josie I can't do this. I need to go" suddenly my legs are able to move again and I hastily walk through the apartment to the door.

"Rudy don't go, I need you" Josie grabs ahold of my arm as I reach for the door. I yank my arm away from her and hurry out of the door slamming it shut behind me.

I can't do this.

A/N
Hello my loves. I'm sorry if you don't like where I'm going with this book but it's what I've always had planned so therefore it's what I'm going to do. Thank you for all of your support so far. Please vote, comment and share.

- J x