11. I tried so hard

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Yuta wipes his hands and sighs looking at Mark who was staring down with an upset expression clear on his face.

"Done," Yuta smiles and Mark frowns.

"I feel bad for her" He mutters.

"Why?"

"She spent so much time on it," He says. "You're the one who asked me to clean it off" He scoffs. "That's because I'd feel even worse if I did it myself," He says and Yuta rolls his eyes. "It's just makeup, Mark," He chuckles. "I know..." He sighs and Yuta smiles at Mark.

"Do you have to go now?" Mark asks and Yuta feels an odd flutter in his heart. What just happened? "Y-yeah... but I promise I'll be back tomorrow alright? Behave for me until then and I shall reward you" Yuta winks and Mark's face turns red. "You're disgusting" He laughs, fiddling with his reddened ears. "But you love it" He smirks and Mark rolls his eyes. "Somehow..."

Once again Mark was alone in the large house. Just him and the emptiness around him. He hated that Yuta made him feel this way, it was disgusting and he was beginning to see it. He was beginning to see why his friends gave him multiple chances... but there's no going back now. It's either all or... yourself...

Mark takes a deep breath, dragging himself into Yuta's room and finding a piece of paper and a pen.

He could at least try.

-----

Dear Yuta,

I love you... but I can't love you like this.

Maybe we can meet in another life. Another life where you're not so fucked in the head.

I will have already left by the time you read this letter. Don't come and look for me, I'm not coming back. I can't do this anymore. It's not fair. I've killed my friends for you yet you still ain't satisfied with it. Before you, I was the type of person who'd cry when people got hurt in movies but now I'm the one hurting people and it's breaking me. I can't keep killing people Yuta, I'm sick of it. I hate it. I loved those I've killed. You make me feel butterflies, I can't lie about that, you make me so happy... but it's wrong. I can't be happy like this. My friends have given me so many chances yet I've not taken one of them... yet they give me more chances. I fucking hate living like this. The guilty is eating me up. I don't like it here.

This is my final goodbye but don't forget that I still love you...

Until we meet again.

- Mark Lee

-----

Mark finally comes back to reality as a stray tear that had slipped down from his cheek hits the paper making a soft noise. He wipes his eyes and puts the pen back. He was confused as to why he was crying. He wanted to leave. He hated living there, it didn't feel like his home. He didn't feel like he belonged there yet he still felt like staying. For Yuta.

This was all  for Yuta.

Mark exits the house and sighs. Wondering where to go. He doubted Johnny would let him back in but he could at least try.

As he walks along the road, memories from the past flash into his brain causing his eyes to brim with tears of guilt, pain and sadness. He hated himself as well as Yuta but more himself for not seeing the wrong in killing his friends the first time he did it. He tried to calm himself by telling himself it wasn't his fault.

But it was his fault.

He reaches Johnny's flat. His home. The only place that had some feeling in it. Taking a deep breath, he knocks on. Moments later, the door opens and Marks looks up at Johnny.

"H-hey" He stammers and Johnny smiles. "Welcome back," He says, pulling him in and closing the door after him.

The two boys sit down in silence with their warm drinks before bursting into giggles.

"Oh man, it's been too long" Johnny laughs. "It has" Mark smiles. "How have you been these days? As a true friend, I've gotta check up on ya" Johnny nudges him and he snickers. "I dunno man, it's been hell to be honest. I had a nightmare not too long ago about us and Yuta, you tried to make me kill you because you said 'it was gonna happen eventually' and I didn't want to so I cried and cried but you were so persistent" He says and Johnny sighs. "I didn't give up on you because of stuff like this, I know you still have a heart. Even if I am the last one alive, you're my bro" Johnny smiles and Mark playfully punches him. "Oi~ don't say shit like that, I'll cry" Mark laughs and Johnny shrugs. "Just being honest y'know?" He says softly.

"Anyway tell me what you've been up to, I've missed you," Johnny says and Mark gulps. "Well, I mean not much to be honest" He begins to tell Johnny all about his weeks away. About his odd dreams and about Kaname and how she managed to change his mind about makeup. As Mark is talking, Johnny isn't listening. He's just happy to see his friend again. The one he grew up with. The one he cares for like a younger brother. It made him so happy to see Mark chattering away like this. It was something he always liked about Mark, the way his eyes widen when he's so deeply involved in telling a story or explaining an experience he had. It reminded him of the first day they met and how far he's come. Johnny knew he couldn't let those days go to waste over some psycho that was playing his friend like a doll that was only going to be chucked away when he got bored of it or when it gets so broken it's beyond fixable.

-----

Yuta enters the house and decides to surprise Mark with a little present. He silently walks around the house in search of Mark yet is confused when he can't find him. He searches the entire downstairs: living room, kitchen, dining room, conservatory. He wasn't there. Maybe he's asleep. It is early morning still, Yuta thought as he makes his way upstairs. He looks in his room first. Mark wasn't there. Bathroom, toilet, spare room, other spare room... He wasn't there. Maybe he's gone for a morning walk, Yuta thought. I should message him to see if he's okay.

-----

Mark <3

-----

07:14 AM

Morning dear

Where are you?

-----

Yuta sighs, slumping on his bed. Waiting for Mark's instant message. But no message comes through. Where is that kid? Yuta wonders. He sits back up and notices something off about his desk. An unsent letter? That's not likely. Surely he hadn't forgotten to send something? he couldn't even remember because he'd been so focused on helping Kaname's fool of a father find a worthless book of paper with scribbles of childish glitter pen and sparkly stickers all over it that was supposedly so challenging to find.

He sits down and looks at it. It had his name on it in his black ink. He turns it over to reveal a shabby wax stamp, clearly not done by himself. He opens it, slightly pissed at the rough, rushed look of the letter and begins to read it. He reads the first few lines before skipping to the bottom and smirking.

"Oh~ I didn't realise my darling would get so bored so quickly" He chuckles. "Seems he wants to play hide and seek again... well Mark..." Yuta licks his lips before slamming the letter onto the desk and storming out of his bedroom.

"It's on" Yuta growls as he leaves the house.

-x-

BITCH 2 CHAPTERS IN LESS THAN 30 MINS FUCK YEAH IM DOING G R E A T

omg next chapters are gonna be overflowing with juicy, bloody, violent, sexy, vile scenes :D because I'm not mentally stable.

~ ECHOBRAVO :3

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