In Another Life: Han Ji Pyeong's Happy Ending (Start Up)

Chapter 7: Head in the Clouds

Do san's POV

I stare towards the clouds as I wait for Dal mi to come back with the first aid kit. I keep thinking of the expression of shock that she wore in her eyes when I tried to kiss her. I think of the dull colourless ball that rested on her finger. And worse, I keep thinking of Halmeoni's undeserved kindness to me.

Her kindness towards this fraud. The guilt starts to gnaw at my heart.

Trying to be the Nam Do san from fifteen years ago is like trying to drive a car that's already broken. It doesn't go where I want it to go... and if I don't get out of this car soon, it's sure to result in a disaster. This is such a huge burden that I carry and I want to let go of it.

The thought of telling Dal mi the truth keeps fluttering in my head. I rub my hands together, trying to will the chaotic thoughts out of my mind.

"Do san," I hear Dal mi call. I smile as I stand up to look at her.

The smile dissolves immediately when I see Ji pyeong following closely behind her. It's not just Ji pyeong. It's the way that Dal mi looks at him, and the way he looks at her. Anyone could tell that there is some sort of unbreakable connection between them.

"What is he doing here?" I say sharply as I look at Ji pyeong.

"I met Mr Han on the way here." Dal mi says, holding up the first aid box.

"Let me see. I learnt first aid in school." Ji pyeong says as he reaches for my hand. Ji pyeong's touch seems to burn my hand.

I can't stand it. His kindness. His goodness.

I can't stand it.

"I'm fine." I say as I jerk my hand out of Ji pyeong's clasp. A sudden rage burns within me.

"Let me see. These sort of wounds can be very tricky." Ji pyeong reaches for my hand once more.

I explode.

"Han Ji Pyeong! How many times do I need to tell you! I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" I yell at the top of my lungs. Ji pyeong is taken aback. He drops my hand.

"Do san..." He says quietly, completely at a loss.

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" I cry out. Why do I always feel so lousy whenever you're around? I want to scream the words out of my lungs. But the same repetition of words fire out like bullets.
"I don't need your help! We don't your help! Okay? Samsan Tech is fine without you. We don't need you. We don't need you as our mentor. So honestly, just leave us alone!" The words blast out of my mouth uncontrollably.

The burning ball of frustration in my chest shoots these words out. The frustration that I'll never be as good as Han Ji Pyeong. The frustration that he has the character of a saint. The frustration that I'll never be able to be the Nam Do san that he was.

"Nam Do san!" Dal mi says. She's completely shocked at my outburst, and I don't blame her. She looks apologetically at Ji pyeong.

"I better head off first." Ji pyeong says quietly and makes his way off.

"Nam Do san!" Dal mi yells at me when Ji pyeong has left. "Are you crazy?" She says.

I look at her wordlessly.

"I don't know what's going through my mind right now," It's evident that Dal mi is trying to hide the anger in her voice. "But still, give me your hand." She says as she pulls bandages out of the first aid kit.

I watch her as she silently mediates and wraps my hand. She wears a look of disappointment. Her initial feelings of gratitude, now mixed with anger, have become disappointment.

"Here." She says stiffly, when she has finished bandaging my hand. "Come on, let's go." She says and stands up.

I follow her wordlessly. I can feel the wall between us.

"Aren't you coming?" I ask her in a monotonous voice. The lift has reached our office's level but Dal mi stays in the lift.

"No, I need to do something." Dal mi replies.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I need to apologise to Mr Han." She says as the lift doors close between us.