Chapter 16: Rolling Blue Waves

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Dal mi's POV

"This is so relaxing, isn't it, Halmeoni?" I say as Halmeoni and I are seated on the shore, facing the rolling waves of the ocean.

"I feel like I can finally breathe." I say and stretch my arms, soaking in the soft rays of sunlight.

"Why? Is Sandbox a very difficult place to breathe?" Halmeoni asks me. I shake my head.

"No. It's my dream. I'm very happy. But it's a dream with hardships." I sigh.

"Is that what's making you upset?" Halmeoni asks.

"Hm?" I ask Halmeoni. "Wah Halmeoni... we could hire you as Noon Gil. How are you able to read my emotions so well?" I ask.

"Of course I know what you are thinking." Halmeoni smiles at me. "Silly girl, I watched you grow up. Do you not think I don't know what goes on in your mind?"

"Are you upset about Do san?" Halmeoni asks me gently. I shake my head.

"I thought I would be. But surprisingly, I'm more relieved than I am upset. I'm relieved." I say decisively.

"Then why are you upset?" Halmeoni asks.

I bite my lip.

"Do san said something interesting that day when we broke up." I say. That conversation has been replaying over and over again in my head. I can't get it out of my mind.

"Do san said my heart longs for someone. He says there's a space in my heart that only a specific person can fill. He can't fill that void." I say quietly. My face starts to feel warm. It's flushed. A million emotions bubble in my chest: worry, loneliness, sorrow.

"And I know he's right." A tear falls down my cheek. It feels like the dam that has been holding back all my repressed feelings and tears has been broken. "I know he's right... Halmeoni..." I cry.

Halmeoni reaches out and hugs me tightly.

"Who is it you miss, dear?" She asks. I can tell her heart breaks whenever I cry. But for today, I can't hold back these tears.
"I miss someone who doesn't exist anymore. I miss my first love. But Do san has changed so much. I wanted him to be the Do san fifteen years ago. But he can't. He's changed." I sob in Halmeoni's arms. I finally feel the full force of the emotions that I've been denying.

"Even when I was with Do san, there was still a loneliness in my heart. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of it." I cry like a child.

"Halmeoni..." I whisper. "Why am I so lonely?"

"I want Do san... my Do san... my Do san from fifteen years ago..." I whisper. My voice is barely audible as it gets wrecked with tears and emotion.

Halmeoni puts a protective arm around me. She pats my back gently. I can tell from the way she's breathing that she's fighting to hold back tears.

"Don't worry... Dal mi ah..." Halmeoni whispers and holds me tightly. "Don't worry, Dal mi. Your Do san... is out there somewhere." Her voice quivers.

As the soft rays of sunlight shine down upon us, I cry my heart out in the protective arms of Halmeoni. 

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