32 || Sincerely, The Man You're Scared to Love

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I'm here

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I'm here.

I don't know what I'm doing here but I'm here anyway.

I want to see him, but I also don't want to see him.

Dear Lily,

Everyday I wonder if you're ever going to come back to town. I also wonder if you'll remember me, if you'll remember us. There's tons of letters in this box, and so I fear that I may not even have the courage to give it to you. I miss you, come back soon.

I want to tell him I'm sorry, I want to tell him a lot of things.

Dear Lily,

Happy birthday. You will find other birthday notes in this box but I really hope you read this first. You must be sixteen now. And you probably have a boyfriend. And that's okay, it's not like you even remember what I look like. I just want to wish you a really happy birthday. Your happiness is my joy. See you whenever.

I'm freaking out like hell.

Dear Lily,

it's a fact we haven't seen each other in a long time, but I see no reason why we should keep up this situation, do you?
I have been thinking a lot about you and remembering - with a great deal of nostalgia - the days we used to talk all the time, when the words exchanged were like a balsam for the both of us. That's how true friendship really works: it brings this peace of mind to all of those who have the pleasure and privilege of enjoying it.
It's true that some of the people we care about often follow different paths and, for no particular reason, end up going in opposite directions sometimes. But now that I finally got hold of you, I would like to enjoy your company again and make the most of your loyal friendship.
During the time we somehow lost contact, there were moments when I missed you a lot; because there are things we can't discuss with our parents, children or even our partners... There are things that we can only tell friends.
Having said that, how about getting together again? Let's make up for the lost time even if it takes lots of hours and gatherings to put our agendas up to date.
Call me and we will think of something together. You know that i've always been available for you and I always be!

Yours
Nick.

I'm dying inside as I watch the happy Thanksgiving dinner from the window. Of course I missed it. I can't show my face there. I can only watch him smile at his family and friends from the window, because that's what I'm good at. Hiding, running away from everything.

Dear Lily,

you are so far away and I miss you so much that the only way to ease my pain is by writing you this letter.
Sometimes I think it would be great if we could store certain feelings in a little box... I'll explain: it's not so bad to miss someone every now and then, but it hurts too much sometimes and the absence becomes unbearable. That's how i'm feeling right now, and that's the feeling I would like to keep in a safe or in a little scented box that I could open really quickly from time to time, like when you open a perfume or a lotion.
But I really wish I didn't have to feel like this ever again. I wish you were always around, always close and ready to listen to all the affectionate words I have to say to you.
Come back soon!

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