34 || Losing Yourself Is So Much Worse

26.3K 766 97
                                    

I'm here

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I'm here.

Rose's grave.

And for the first time in a long while, I'm not crying or running away.

But I'm frozen.

Dad wanted to come with me, Tyler did too, but I said no, I have to do this myself. I have to face my demons alone.

In this case, my sister, my twin, my other half, my blood.

I remember that moment like yesterday, the moment when I felt my life was over, the moment she died, the moment my world shook and everything fell apart. The moment I said to myself, "I killed her."

◈◆◆◆◆◈◆◆◆◆◈

It was prom night, the night Hayden and I had been looking forward to. We'd been dating since tenth grade. I don't believe in happily ever afters anyway, but he's been so good to me.

Earlier this week, Mom took Rose shopping for her prom dress. I couldn't make it because I was stuck in detention and they couldn't wait for me. Or that's what I keep telling myself, just to feel better about everything. But Dad and Tyler made up for it. They both accompanied me to the mall to pick out a dress. Dad's not making so much lately and I felt so bad that he had to do this. But he didn't seem like he cared about the money, he seemed like he just wanted me to have fun.

My last minute prom dress is cerulean blue with drops of glitter around it. It stops just a little above my silver stilettos.

"You look like Cinderella," Tyler says from somewhere around the door and I chuckle.

"I thought Dad said you guys were going fishing tonight," I wink at him and he laughs.

"Yeah, I just wanted to see your dress," he folds his arms.

"You're a cute little brother, you know that right?"

"I'm nine, I'm not cute," he groans. "Dad and I are leaving!" He yells as he walks out the door.

I laugh to myself, facing the mirror and adding the final touches to my makeup. Rose enters our room, and I freeze when she walks in, wearing the same dress as mine.

"Rose," my voice breaks. "What happened to your red dress?" No, there's no way I'm letting her wear the same dress as me. No.

"I had a change of heart," she rolls her eyes. And then my brain kicks in, her hair is just like mine, her makeup too. My breath is literally stolen when she walks towards the huge mirror, contacts in hand. Contacts that look exactly like my eyes.

"Rose, stop it," my voice is barely a whisper.

"You always get all the good stuff," she faces me.

"Me?" I scoff. "You're the one that gets all of mom's attention, you're the freaking cheerleader, what do I have?"

"Yeah, this is the part I make sure you don't have anything," she winks, walking towards her side of the room, grabbing her stuff, and then, then I hear the sound of keys.

A Heart Like This (Mature Jocks Series #2)Where stories live. Discover now