𝐆𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝 | ⁿᵃʳᵘᵗᵒ ˣ ᵇⁿʰᵃ

Chapter thirty-five

third pov

Gaara sometimes wondered, what did he do to deserve what he received? all he wanted to do is help Temari and kankuro from rasa, and he did just that. but for what?

now he was treated like a real outsider of the family, why must it always be him? why can't it be him that's happy and has lots of friends like everyone else.

why is he always left out and treated as a monster or a nucience, would things be different if his mother was alive? or would she fear him just as much as the rest of his family. would she love him unconditionally like how other peoples mothers would?

deep down all gaara wants is someone to genuinely love him without any second thoughts, will someone ever love him? what is love anyway. is it just some word people use to keep them by their side so they don't leave them?

is love even real? if not, gaara supposes no one will love him.

rasa, his father. doesnt deserve the title of a father, he has done nothing as a father, but who know..maybe he was alright before gaara was born, then was it truly his fault for his fathers change, did temari and kanuro blame him for it?

perhaps they had two loving parents and suddenly they get a sibling and everything changes, their mother passes and their father changed without going back to his old self. is everything his fault?

it was his fault for yashamaru's death.

why...why did uncle yashamaru have to die? why did he have to die such a gruesome death? a death by his hands...?

he was the one to see his last breath. he was the one to see the light leave his eyes. he was the one to hear his last words. his harsh last words.

"this is it. please die."

but he didn't die. he lived and is still suffering.

"I've always hated you gaara"

was everything he and yashamaru had all fake? did he pertend to love him? did he hate him this whole time, for the same reason as his father? but why. he didn't kill mother, temari said so. but she hates him too. did she lie too?

does...todoroki hate him too?

no. he cant hate him, gaara wont allow him to. he will not let todoroki hate him like the others, that simply wont do..he wont let him leave like the others, he will do anything to keep his first friend by his side.

friend.

something he always yearned for but could never have, yet todoroki was his first ever friend, but he cant help but wonder If he will leave too.

"no one will ever love you gaara."

maybe yashamaru was right, no one will love him...perhaps, everything that has ever happened to him was meant to happen. like a sad life story that never gets better over time.

"you're nothing but a monster, a self loving demon"

perhaps yashamaru was right all along, he loves no one but he doesn't even like nor love himself. he doesn't love temari. he doesn't love kankuro. he doesn't love todoroki. he certainly doesn't love his father. he cant even say he loves his mother since he never even knew her.

whats the point in life anyway, he's training to be a hero, something he doesn't even want to be, he doesn't care if people die. its not his problem nor did he know them, it doesn't effect him in the slightest. people die everyday.

whats so different if he helps them or not? they'll die eventually.

we will all die one day. who cares if you die earlier on

death is death, you cant escape it

some don't even want to escape it

some want to die earlier on

sometimes gaara wonders what would happen if he died..

by his own hands.

would it change anything? would it really effect anyone, probably not. so who even cares anymore.

everything is so empty, life is empty. its the same thing every day.

will things ever get better for him..?

656 words

Small peak into gaara's mind. Maybe mine too lol