Mia Regina

Chapter 9

Valentina Gracia

Shopping is one of the favourite things I used to do back in time. Shopping was something that made me really happy. Whenever I was sad I'd go sad shopping, when I was happy I'd do happy shopping and when I was stressed I'd do stress shopping. Basically, shopping was one of the ways I expressed my emotions.

In Cape Town, I never spent that much. Only the necessary items that are needed for the basic requirements of the kids and me were brought. My brother did offer money but I never used it. I never used my credit card also knowing that I would be tracked easily if I did. Now that I finally got the chance to actually shop I couldn't stop my excitement.

I never show it outside but I'm definitely excited. Rafael and Juana were with me selecting a 'perfect' dress for the small party. They were slowly getting irritated by the number of dresses I refused but I wanted the dress to be worth the time and money.

My gaze falls on the dress beside the one Juana is holding.

"That's it," I exclaim by clapping my hands together. I point at the short-sleeved designer a-line dress which had a diamond type cut exposing the whole back.

"Finally." Rafael sighs placing the dress in his hands down. Juana does the same and glares playfully at me.

"Something's never change." She says making me grin slightly.

"Never," I say grabbing the dress in my hand and checking the material.

"No one would ever shop without complaining." She says.

"Enzo did," I say almost immediately and suddenly freeze what I just said.

Fuck.

The thing is that when I'm happy or excited I voice my thoughts out.

The three of us fall silent after that and I mentally smack myself. It's been almost four years since I last talked about him to anyone. I miss him. I never admitted it to even myself but I do and I hate myself for missing someone like him. I miss the way he used to listen to everything I used to ramble. The way he kissed me. The way he cherished me every night. The way he treated me, as the only woman in the world, like a damn queen.

"Il mio solo ed unico" [My one and only]

He used to say which made my heart melt into a pool of puddle. Maybe that's why he was able to break me so easily because right from the start he owned this power over me that no one else had. Now I feel like bullshit for giving my everything for a guy like him.

"¿S-Señora?" [M-Madam?] A voice questions breaking me out of my trance. I look at the saleswoman looking at me with a nervous look on her face. "Should I pack it?" She asks pointing at the dress which I'm currently gripping tightly. Without speaking I nod and give it to her.

Me, Juana and Rafael walk in tense silence. I collect my bag and pay silently going towards the exit. One of the guards spots me and immediately opens the door for us. We all sit in silence until Rafael interrupts it.

"Valent-" he starts only to get cut off by me.

"I slipped. I'm sorry for bringing him up." I say while biting my lips. Wait, why the fuck did I apologise? "It's not a big issue just leave it," I say quickly and look out of the window.

Oh my god it was my tongue speaking not me.

"I wasn't talking about that reina, the guests have arrived and are allotted rooms." He says awkwardly.

"Mamá is not going to attend it. Inform her to take care of the kids and add more guards in that area. The best ones only." I say still looking out of the window. The whole car goes silent again and I look at Juana who was in deep thought. I could tell it by the way she was biting her lips and playing with the hem of her dress. "Ju? What's wrong?" I ask her but she shakes her head and gives me one of her fake smiles. I decided not to push it so I simply nodded my head with hesitation. No one talked after that being lost in their own thoughts.

•°•°•°•°•

I didn't recognise the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I looked different, I looked beautiful. It's been a long while since I've got dressed up in something like this and it's been even longer since I felt beautiful.

The fierce blue eyes stare right back at me contrasting my olive skin and blood-red lips. The dress fitted me with perfection moulding all my curves perfectly. My brown locks go down my back almost reaching my waist.

I looked like a queen, I felt like a queen.

My hands go to the scar on my forehead, the one he gave me that night. Fuck him I'm still pretty.

Taking a step away from the mirror I pick my five-inch heels up and wear them. I'm 5'6 and I consider that a decent height I only wear the heels because they give me confidence and a sense of power.

A knock on the door suddenly startles me. I mutter a 'come in' taking a knife and wondering where can I hide it. I'm definitely not going into that party completely unarmed.

"Damn Reina." I heard Juana's voice making me glance at her. "Te ves hermosa querida." [You look beautiful dear] She says softly.

"You too Ju." I smile at her pressing a kiss on her cheek. She's wearing a blue sequined dress with long hands and a deep v-neck which hugs her body perfectly. "Are everyone downstairs?" I ask with hesitation. Is he downstairs? Was the question underneath it? As if she understands she nods slowly.

"Valentina, you're strong querido remember that. He's your past and will remain as your past. Don't let your past affect you now. You're doing this for Santiago, your father and for thousands of women remember that." [dear] She says and I nod trying not to let the emotions get the best of me. "He came you know?" She says after a moment.

"What?" I ask snapping my eyes back to her.

"He came after the day you left." She says hesitantly. "He looked like a wreck. Something doesn't add up Valentina, why would he come back after whatever he said to you. Do you think there was some reason he had to do it?" She asks making me scoff.

"I don't care Ju and even if there was a reason he should have told me. We would have fucking talked through it. He can't take back whatever he said. Those words still haunt me to this day, I don't think I could possibly forgive him." I ramble and she just hums in return.

"Antonio believed you Reina right from the start but he couldn't let the same thing that happened to your tío repeat again. Your brother never forgave him for letting you go that day. Antonio himself drowned in guilt since that day, he worked like a robot without showing any emotions not even to your mother. I don't want you to hold something against your father Reina he loved you." [Uncle] She says.

No emotions. I remind myself and hold the urge to cry.

"Is that what you were thinking all this time?" I ask her and she nods.

"I've been keeping this inside me for a long time Reina, I thought it would be good if you know all this before everything starts." She says and I just nod. "Gracias por volver cariño." [Thank you for coming back dear] She says with a smile and I give her a small smile back.

Taking a deep breath I open the door and walk outside. My heels click against the marbles and the chattering sound immediately stops. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I step down the stairs. With my chin held high and Rafael behind me I finally enter the room after five years.