Mia Regina

Chapter 11

Lorenzo D'Amelio

I've been fidgeting with my watch the whole time I waited before getting into the mansion. I had a panic attack in the car, something which was common for me since I was eighteen. All my senses were lost and I felt so sore as if every muscle in my body is firing. I was literally shaking with sweat all over.

That's when I thought of Val. I remember her whispering sweet nothings into my ears and stroking my hair which would calm me down a little. I remember her telling me to take deep breaths. "You're doing great bebé." [Baby] she used to whisper and plant a kiss on my forehead.

Five things you see.

Four things you can touch.

Three things you can hear.

Two things you can smell.

One thing you can taste.

She used to tell me to use that method but once she was gone I couldn't sense anything around me, it was as if I was in complete darkness. I was indeed complete darkness pretending that everything was fine. That shit somehow always works for me living in denial is the best sometimes.

I'm a fucking mess, I know it and I also know that it's the last thing she needs to put up, after all, she went through, after all, I made her go through but I love her with my everything. One chance is all I ask for. I want her to let me explain things it's okay if she doesn't want me back but I don't want her to hate me and even if she does I'll love her forever.

A loud ring gets me out of my trance making me look at the phone. Seeing the caller ID I pick up with an exhausted sigh.

"Figlio where are you?" [Son] Mom's voice booms out of the phone.

"I'm outside, I'll be there in ten minutes mamma," I say and hang the call.

I hope I don't fuck this up.

Pushing all the nervousness and feelings deep inside I step out of the car putting a blank face on as if nothing happened. Years of experience makes it look perfect and just like that, I'm no longer Val's Enzo now I am Lorenzo D'amelio, the leader of the Italian Mafia.

Taking long strides towards the door I unbutton my suit and loosen the tie a little suddenly feeling hot. I adjust my collar such that cool wind brushes past my chest as I unbutton three of the buttons of my white shirt. The silver chain touches my bare skin sending shivers over it.

I need to maintain my cool so that I don't look like a fool in front of hundreds of people who are scared of me.

A guard immediately opens the door for me as he spots me. Just as I enter the living room everyone goes silent making me roll my eyes inwardly. I don't understand why people are so scared of me.

Quickly wanting to escape the living room I go towards Antonio's office knowing where it is. But I pause when I see a familiar figure in the corner beside Matteo. Fuck it's been five whole years.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I felt my eyes welling up, I'm practically on the staircase now and no one can see my face which I couldn't be anymore thankful for. A tear slips past my eyes when I see her hugging Matteo and smiling. That goddamn smile.

The smile made me realise that I was in trouble when she first time smiled at me. The smile that reaches her eyes whenever she's happy. It is the smile that made me worth my living. Her smiling is all I ever want in my life even if it's not because of me.

Practically killing myself by looking away from her I turn around and start climbing the stairs wiping the tears off my face. Once I reach the door around the corner a guard opens the door with shaking hands.

Everyone in the room falls silent after I enter. I give them all polite nods and they nod back. I don't have a good relationship with Gracía's family, and not that I'm trying to impress them. The woman I want to impress is downstairs chatting with my best friend, I'm not complaining though as long as she's happy I'm happy.

"Ahem." A voice breaks through my thoughts and I see a guy quite younger than me looking at me with a polite look but I can spot the underneath anger under his gaze. "Since everyone are now here I'm going to call Reina now." He says as he opens his phone.

My hands start shaking and my heart beats faster what will she do when she sees me? Will she feel like crying like I did? Will she feel angry? I don't care about what emotion she shows I just want her to feel something for me even if it's hate. But deep down I know that I'll find nothing in them, Val is the best when it comes to hiding emotions.

Noticing my trembling hands my mother places her hand on mine giving me a reassuring smile. I look around to see a woman around my mother's age observing me silently.

After a wait of ten minutes, the door finally opens making me stop my breath. She's here. Fuck she's really here.

I close my eyes and when I reopen them they immediately connect to the ocean blue eyes I've been dreading to see for the past five years. As I expected there was a completely blank look plastered on her face.

"Mr D'amelio." She greets me with a nod taking a seat in front of me and crosses her legs leaning back against the couch.

I want to talk to her, explain things to her, hold her in my arms but I know this isn't about us now and I also know that nothing would change if I talk to her now. She's angry, she's hurt and I am the one who hurt her. Obviously, I'm going to be the one to pay for that. Now's not the right time.

"Ms Gracía." I nod back and hope that my eyes show the desperation my heart held.

Our timing was never right. Maybe we just found our forever at the wrong time and wrong moment but I'm sure that one right moment will pull us together at right time. And I'll patiently wait for that.

For now, she's the queen of Spain while I'm the Italian Mafia leader. And we together have to stop Leonid. He must have a reason to come back after ten years and I know that he wouldn't come back without anything powerful along with him. We need to figure out everything and get out through these chaos as soon as possible.