Deception (N.H)

CHAPTER 46: ME BEFORE YOU

"Please?" I ask Niall for the billionth time that night. "Can't we watch a comedy or something?" I shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck.

"It's my favourite film ever. Please can we watch it?" I place delicate kisses all over his jaw. "Fine." He mumbles as he taps his fingers against my waist. I grin and kiss him on the lips before grabbing his laptop.

"I promise you'll like it." I grin at him as he stares at me. "How is watching a film about a paralysed lad going to be enjoyable?" I stare at him with a small frown. "It's not just about how he's paralysed. There's more to it and it's a beautiful story." Niall nods and places a kiss on my head.

"Okay Bunny, I'll watch it for you." I smile and quickly open up the film before placing the laptop on the foot of the bed. I make Niall get up and I sit down in the middle of the bed. I spread my legs open and get Niall to move in between them. "Bunny, I think I'm a bit too big for your tiny little body." Niall says with a smile as he tries to not crush me.

"Shut up, I wanna play with your hair while we watch it." Niall shakes his head and lets out a little chuckle. "I could lay down beside you and put my head on your lap." I shake my head and push him down on me. "I wanna sit like this." Niall sighs but nods and leans back against my chest. His head rests between my boobs and his arms on my thighs.

I instruct him to press play with his toes and he shakes his head with a small smile as he does it. I smile as the film starts. I run my hands over Niall's chest, occasionally going under his shirt, and Niall relaxes against me.

"Me before you." I breathe out with a smile as the words light up on the screen. I look down at Niall as I feel his gaze on me. His blue eyes stare back at my brown ones. I lean down and kiss him gently as he brings his hand up to cup my jaw. I slowly pull away and open my eyes to find him smiling at me. I smile back before turning his head to face the laptop.

I run my hands through his hair as the only noises that echo through the room are the ones from the laptop. Our slow breathing syncs as we focus on the film while our hands gently touch each other's bodies. The gentle touches weren't meant to be distracting and somehow they weren't. Niall's fingers traced patterns on my thighs while I played with his hair and occasionally moved to his neck and chest.

The world sort of stopped while we spent the time watching the film. Niall surprisingly didn't fall asleep even though I played with his hair constantly. We were silent the whole time and both seemed to go off into the world of the film.

---

"What the fuck?!" Niall yells as the end credits pop up. "I know." I say as I rub his shoulders. "They loved each other. Why would he choose to die?!" I look down at Niall and notice his wet cheeks. "Panny, sometimes love isn't enough." I keep my voice calm and gentle as I slowly wipe his face.

"But he didn't have to die." Niall tears up again and I give him a sad smile. "I'm sorry, Panny, but he did have to die." Niall looks at me in shock. "You're okay with him dying?!" Niall sits up and turns to face me. I sigh and move to sit on his lip.

"Life isn't worth living when you simply just exist. He was depriving her of so much and she deserved more than he could ever give her. She had to move on and him dying was the only way she could ever truly move on." I wipe his cheeks once again and wrap my arms around him. "Why would she agree to let him die?" Niall whispers against my chest and I let out a small sigh. "Because she loved him."

He sighs in response and tightens his hold on me. "How did she know she loved him?" Niall asks after a few moments of silence. "I think she knew she loved him the moment she knew she would lose him." I whisper, shocking Niall and myself.

"Is being in love nice?" Niall asks, looking at every feature of my face. "I don't know." I whisper looking at Niall's eyes. "You've never been in love?" Niall shifts his gaze to meet my eyes. "I thought I was but looking back at it, I don't think there was ever any love." I shrug and Niall's lips part. "Have you?" Niall sighs and grabs my hand.

"It's better not to love anyone. Don't get hurt." He mumbles as he traces patterns on my hand. "I don't think I'm meant for love." I confess to Niall, the first person I've felt comfortable enough to share this with.

"Why would you think that?" I shrug and look at his fingers that are tracing circles on my arm. "Many reasons." Niall's fingers stop and he looks up at me. "I've got time." I smile at him as he lets out a cheeky little grin. I pull away from him and lie down, motioning for Niall to do the same. We lay down facing each other.

"Well for starters, I'm adopted." I whisper and Niall looks at me in shock. "I'm not saying I don't think I'm meant for love because I'm adopted but it adds to the reasons why I feel like I don't deserve it. I know that sounds like a stereotype, but I do feel that way. If my own parents didn't want me then why would anyone else." I mumble with a shrug, looking down. "My adoptive parents found me in a basket with a note. They never showed me the note nor did they ever tell me what it said but they took me in. They didn't know anything about me. Not even my birthday or my name." Niall looks at me in confusion. "But your birthday is on the 31st of January." I nod, a bit of confusion taking over. "Anyways, since they didn't know what day I was born, they just made my birthday the day they found me. January 31st 2000." Niall gives me a sad smile and rubs his hand up and down my arm.

"They somehow were able to get a birth certificate made." Niall nodded to show he was listening. "They told me a few months after my 18th birthday." Niall's eyes widened a bit. "They waited that long?" I nod, looking down at my lap. "After I found out, I decided to move away and open my own bakery to start off with a fresh start. I expected to be hurt and angry but I wasn't. It all just felt like a dream and when I would wake up, everything would be fine. I went to sleep that night, woke up the next morning and realised it wasn't. I guess some part of me always knew but it still shocked me. I talk to my adoptive parents every now and then but it still feels weird and hurts a bit every time, but I genuinely do love them. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have survived at all. We had a few rough conversations in the beginning but eventually I got over it and now things are as normal as they could be." Niall looked at me as he processed my words.

"Do you know your birth parents?" Niall asks and I let out a deep breath. "I do. I met them a few months before I turned 19." Niall nods and reaches his arm behind me to rub my back. I lean forward and close my eyes, letting out another small sigh.

"I don't know my parents." Niall speaks up after a while. "Were you adopted too?" I feel Niall shake his head above mine. "Grew up on the roads without a home." Niall mumbles and I pull away. "Alone?" I ask, a bit of shock taking over me and Niall nods. "Until the man took me and I became part of the mafia."

I grab Niall's cheeks and pull him into a kiss. "It's crazy how you survived that." Niall laughs and pulls me into a hug. "It was hard at first but I got used to it eventually." I sigh and play with Niall's hair. "Good to know we both come from fucked up families." I laugh, Niall joining in a little later. "We don't need anyone else. You've got me, Bunny, and that's all you need." I pull away and look at Niall. "You and me against the world, Panny." I whisper looking in Niall's eyes. "You and me against the world." He whispers back before slowly pulling me in for a kiss.