Insomniacs (#1)

44. fireworks

double update! i've been bombarding you with chapters this weekend, oops <3

I knew guardianship wasn't going to be a simple task, I understood the responsibilities down to the bone. I knew it all and still was more than willing to be it for Benji.

When I said I'd do anything for him, I meant it. And I'd always mean it.

The one thing I didn't want to start this all off with was my mother storming into the house. I was on the phone with Jenny, rifling through papers to find my birth certificate because she said I'd need it for some forms I would need to sign soon. I'd been on several calls all evening, talking to social workers and police officers that wanted to confirm the details of Sarah's death, the will company making sure I got her letter.

I was exhausted. So what I definitely did not need nor want is her screaming in my face.

"Put the fucking phone down and listen to me!" She yelled like she had been doing for the past five minutes when following me around the house.

I was trying to ignore her, to stay calm.

Everest, Luca and Benji all sat on the couch, quiet as can be and watching the scene with fascination. Luca had wanted to step in but I warned him not to before she'd even entered. So he stays put.

"Is everything okay?" Jenny asked from the other side of the phone.

"Yes- yeah, sorry. Is it okay if I call you back later?" I ran a hand through my hair.

"That's fine, honey. I think that's about enough for today anyways, we'll talk tomorrow." She said.

"Tomorrow." I nodded, heard her say her goodbye and then hung up. As soon as I put my phone down, I pinched my eyes shut and tried to take a composing breath.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Aria? You're a naive seventeen year old, you've had everything handed to you all the time. You'll know nothing about caring about this boy." She practically shrieked in my ear.

I screwed my eyes shut tighter. Breathe.

"You can't just take matters into your own hands." She scoffed, a demeaning laugh leaving her lips when she pushed me, "You think you're so above me. You're fucking not, you just think you're saving this boy and it gives you a twisted sense of joy when in reality, he won't be happy with you. Social services will take care of him better-"

"God, shut up! For once just be fucking quiet!" I yelled.

I spun around to see her eyes wide, lips parted. The irritation inside me was overcoming me, rising up and up and if I didn't release it, it'd consume me.

"You have no right to parent me anymore. You have no right to scream in my face like a child. I don't even want to see your fucking face anymore after today." I walked towards her and she stumbled backwards.

"They asked you. They asked you to adopt him, to help him and you said no so easily. Like he was a fly on your fucking t-shirt, like he wasn't a boy your daughter's known for three years, like he isn't an eight year old that's gone through hell and back. When you entirely have the means. I don't know who you are because the mum I thought I knew, she'd see him and feel some sort of empathy." I pointed towards Benji.

"Of course, I- I'm empathetic-"

"Bullshit. Bullshit! You're off fucking the guy that left you for seventeen years like a whore, that you forget you have a daughter most of the time. You're so pathetic it's- it's embarrassing. So do not try to tell me I don't know what I'm doing because I will choose Benji over you without fucking thinking about it." I spat and watched rage grow in her eyes.