Insomniacs (#1)

66. betrayal

Hudson.

My hands are trembling so much that I drop the envelope onto the porch. I manage to crouch down on my even shakier legs and pick it up, staring at Everest's door like I have been doing for the past fifteen minutes.

The summer breeze has turned a little colder, biting at my skin. Either that's why I'm shuddering or its the nerves. My fist doesn't move to reach up and knock the door because I cannot do this.

I cannot face him.

Ev and Lu. It's always been the two of them against the world. A ball of sunshine and a grumpy fuck, they balanced each other out like they'd known each other their whole lives.

Right now, I want to run as far away from this entire situation as possible.

I'll come back, I think and clutch the envelope. I just need to prepare myself, I convince myself and begin to turn-

The door in front of my face flies open.

Everest pauses and blinks back at me before that big, familiar Everest Jones grin takes place at his lips. He leans his side against the doorframe, clad only in a black tank top and shorts.

"Whatcha doing here, Hud?" He raises an eyebrow, "You look nervous. Are you moving on and confessing your love to me, this time? Second time's a charm." He winks.

I look down and see that he's got his converse on, like he's preparing to go somewhere.

"Where are you going?"

"Ria's." He smiles brightly now, "She got into Lana's scheme. But fuck that, we knew she would."

Fuck.

Today? She got into the scheme she'd been working her ass of for months to achieve, today? When I'm supposed to tell her- no, god. I can't do this to her.

"So, if you're back, where is he? Cos she keeps moping like a sad Lu-deprived puppy." He grimaces, "I'm not used to lovey Ria. So tell him to get his ass over there to deal with her."

I'm sure he can see the distress on my face. Because I can't hide it for the life of me. How am I supposed to do this to them? Why would Luca fucking do this to me?

"Dude, seriously, you good? You're not on anything, are you?" He begins examining me head to toe, concerned.

I actually manage to shake my head no.

"...Okay. What is that?" He tilts his head down in a gesture to the envelope I'm holding so tightly that soon, I'm going to rip into it.

"For you." I say and my chest squeezes. I can't fucking believe I actually have to do this, that Lu Hernandez is actually saying goodbye to the people he'd die for.

"You're being weird. Give it to me then." He furrows his eyebrows.

I roll my shoulders back and force myself to look back up at him and into his eyes. "I'm sorry." I say, "You'll get all the explanation you need in here. I'm just passing it on." I have to clear my throat to rid it of its weakness.

Ev's posture changes now, his face taking on a more serious expression that I'm already dreading, "What is it? Who's it from?"

"Luca." I answer and have to promptly look away.

"Lu? Is giving me an envelope? Why can't he just talk to me, idiot-" He scoffs and takes the envelope from my hands, "And why are you sorry? Lighten up, sweetheart, sheesh."

I have to pinch my eyes shut, running a hand through my hair and tugging at it for a moment in an attempt to ground myself. It's not working, nothing is going to fucking work. Especially when Ev's ripping open that envelope and right now, is so blissfully naive to what is going on.