The boy next door

Part 17

She looked at me, almost crying again. She really did not expect me to say that all of a sudden. Now I regret saying it. What if she turns me down? What if I end up getting embarrassed--

'I would love to,'she said and hugged me again. I breathed out a content sigh and hugged her back. 'Thank you for listening to me Hyerin although I am the one supposed to,' Allison said as she rubbed her eyes with her finger tips. 'No problem Allison. I will always be here to listen, okay?' I asked as she nodded happily.

After walking outside of the room, I thought about what I just did. Did i really just offer to be her daughter? Well I dont regret it-- wait, what sound is that? I listened attentively to a muffled sound coming out of a room. Should I go? I am not allowed to enter someone else's room though. I dont think I should. I walked past the room but stopped as I heard someone crying. Oh fuck it. I hate it when people cry. I absolutely hate it.

I pushed open the door to the room. What I saw was definitely not what I expected. Felix was crawled up next to the wall of the room and whimpering. His whole body was tensed up and he kept shivering, his left hand moving up and down. Shit. He was having an anxiety attack. Should I leave to call the nurse? Or stay here to comfort him? He would definitely not be comforted by my sight. But I decided to stay.

I walked up to him and kneeled on the ground. His eyes were closed as he kept on repeating the words, 'Lee Yongbok, Lee Yongbok.' Is he remembering those times again? Oh my god. What should i do? I was about to get up but he held my wrist. 'Please dont leave. Stay,' he said as he opened his eyes and looked at me.

Something about his vulnerable state made me want to protect him. 'Felix. Felix. I am here. I am not leaving, okay? Calm down, please. For my sake?' I said that to him continously but he did not budge. His body was moving vigorously as sweat dripped from his face. He must be in so much pain right now. How can anxiety be stopped-- I know wait. I thought of a plan. It could get me in trouble and it could also be the last day Felix talked to me. But I had to do it.

I raised his chin up as he flinched. Gosh he is insecure. I did not hesitate when I planted my lips on his. His body stopped shivering, so did his eyes. They were wide open from the skinship I just did. I planned on kissing him for a few seconds and pull away but was surprised when he kissed me back. Did Lee the fucking Felix kiss me back?

He pulled away after a couple of seconds as I sat there, a blushing mess. Oh gosh. Now it is going to be awkward and he is going to threaten my life again. Instead, he asked me, 'Why did you do that?' I answered right away. 'I read somewhere that an anxiety attacks happen when you remember something or think about something which brought you pain once. All you need to do to stop the anxiety attack is a distraction. I kissed you......to distract you, from whatever thoughts you were having.'

Felix nodded, a bit down? Why was he down? Did I say something to have upset him? I waited for another ten minutes as he cooled down, his breath pacing as it did before. 'I should leave,' I said as I got up. He nodded and got up too. At least a thank you would have been ni-- 'Thank you,' he said as he left. Wait, he could say that? I thought the words thank you and sorry could not leave his mouth. 

Lee know's POV:

I walked down the stairs of my house as I made my way to my father's house. He was seated on a couch, reading his newspaper. Suddenly, my mother pulled my wrist and brought me into a room. 'What now, mom?' I asked. She combed my hair with her hands and said, 'Son, you know the deal right? Since you are the oldest, you should inherit everything.' 'Mom, have you gone out of your mind? Stop disturbing me. You are just becoming a nuisance now,' I said and left the room. 

'Oh son, you are here?' dad called me as he put down the newspaper. 'Mmh hmm,' I said as I took a seat. 'Dad, I actually wanted to talk to you about something,' I said as he nodded. 'It's about Felix. Dad, he still has nightmares and he gets anxiety attacks very often. But I don't know what to do about it. He is not really into anything else other than studying and basketball. I need to get his mind cleared off,' I said as I played with the ring on my hand. 

'Why don't you throw a party? Maybe he will enjoy that?' he asked me. 'He is not really into those dad,' I said worriedly. 'Just give it a try. You mother and I are going to visit a place for our seventeenth anniversary next week. Try throwing a party then,' he said as he smiled and patted my shoulder. I gave him a faint smile and got up. 'Dad, my friend is waiting for me. I am leaving, bye,' I said as I left on my motorbike. 

I reached the restaurant I was supposed to meet Hyunjin at. He was occupying a window seat and flirting with the waitress...of course. 'Oh hyung, you are here,' he said as he got up and made a call sign to the waitress. 'Yes,' I said and took a seat. After chit chatting for a while, he suddenly asked me a question. 'Hyung, do you like Hyerin?' I scoffed and answered, 'No, why would I?' 'I noticed you flirting with her the other day. You wouldn't just flirt with her, you know. She is Changbin hyung's sister,' he gave me a confused face. 'I am just playing with her. She will not know. She is also like on of those other girls. There is nothing special about her,' I chuckled and munched on my food. 

I drove past Felix's house and noticed that all the lights were out. Did he visit the hospital again today? I should have gone with him. I brushed my teeth and laid on the bed. But it started happening again. Something that did not leave me for the last two years. Insomnia. 

I turned on one side and then on another, trying to sleep but I could not. Something kept my eyes open. Sleep did not come. After an exhausting hour, I got up and reached for my shelf. I should not do this. This will become a habit. I kept cursing myself for taking the white jar in my hand but I couldn't do anything but that. I chugged down three sleeping pills with water down my throat and rested on the bed. Please sleep come over me. Please. And let me not dream of her again.