Your Babies | Sano Shinichiro

XLI

For days, it seems as if you were stuck in a haze.

Unable to grasp what was real and fake, mind still unable to comprehend all the things that had happened. But unfortunately, you do not have the luxury to think about it any further. Life has caught up to you, your responsibilities and the full reality that you do not have Shinichiro anymore forcing you into moving on.

It seems as if everything has suddenly made itself known as you stare down at the two kids, both of them holding onto your hand as you sit on the edge of the bed in your once shared room with your lover.

Your heart thrums in your chest, anxiety causing it to rumble in a way that almost makes you want to pull away from them. It seems that you are faced with difficult decisions left and right now that you do not have your beloved confidant with you.

The tears that are starting to brim on their eyes the longer it takes you to answer makes you even more unsure of your decisions.

You had never thought of it before.

Never even considered a situation like this for all you knew was a future with Shinichiro right beside you.

But now that there is no such future left, you can't help but let out a sigh, tired smile making its way to your lips as you give the two kids a reassuring pat on their heads. "I..." Biting on your lower lip. Your gaze trails down to the floor where boxes of Shinichiro's belongings are stored.

You were cleaning up his things before the kids entered and talked to you.

Talked to you about how your future with them will be.

"Are you... Are you going to continue living with us, Y/N-nee?" Emma asks once more, voice trembling with the tears that she's trying so hard to keep in as you look up at them once more.

"I-I'm not sure, Emma. I don't think I shoul-"

"Please stay, Y/N-nee... Even though Shin-nii isn't here anymore... please stay." Manjiro utters, voice barely above a whisper as his voice cracks, the boy in a similar state as his sister. "We don't want to lose you too..."

Sniffing, you quickly blink away any oncoming tears as you pull them closer to you. "You're not going to lose me, okay? For now... I'll stay here. I'll look after you two... I'll do something about the shop, make sure that we're all okay."

"So you will leave in the future?"

With a tight smile, you nod. "I can't stay here forever, Emma."

"But you can! You're Shinichiro's wife! You're our older sister! You're grandpa's granddaughter! You can stay here with us!" Emma sobs out, hands tightly gripping your - Shinichiro's - shirt as she looks up at you with her big brown eyes filled with tears. "Please don't go... please Y/N-nee."

Nodding, you wipe her tears away, pressing a kiss on her forehead before doing the same to her brother.

You do this until she starts to calm down, their bodies now thrown over yours as you continue to hold them close on the bed that you once shared with their older brother.

"Don't worry... I won't leave. I won't leave the two of you. I'll stay here with you. Stay until you're both old enough. I'll stay."

Closing your eyes, you breathe in, your erratic heart slowly calming down now that you've solidified your decision of staying. It seems that the thought of staying or not has been plaguing your mind without you even knowing it for the relief that courses through your body seems to have put your mind at ease enough for you to have fallen asleep with the two kids on top of you.