Alone together [Kakashi x Reader]

Chapter 4

(Y/n)'s POV: 

Everything was spinning and I wasn't even able to keep a single and rational thought for more than a second, only a stupid smile. Why? I didn't know, and honestly, I didn't care. I was smiling, I was happy, and I couldn't even think about my problems. It was like a dream come true; alcohol was a dream come true, a gift from the gods themselves. A miracle that made my anxiety and problems disappear, or at least seem like they had disappeared. 'I'll think about them tomorrow' I thought.

I ran a hand through my hair and realized that even the touch of things was funny. Why was it funny? Again, I couldn't tell. Did my hair always feel like that? My skin? I was able to feel every millimeter of it, their weird textures and pores, it was really funny. Wait, I already said that, didn't I? 

Okay, yes, maybe the alcohol in my body didn't allow me to be at my full brain capacity, and maybe it also made me lose half of my vocabulary and just common sense in general. But hey, it was also thanks to this that I was able to smile without thinking about the future, about the consequences. When could I say that? Never, exactly. Everything seemed a thousand times more bearable than normally, and if this is what alcohol caused, I would turn an alcoholic. And to be honest, I didn't care, I couldn't right now anyway. All I could do was laugh, be happy, without a single negative thought appearing in my mind. I couldn't even remember why I was feeling anxious before and everything seemed way more beautiful now.

I looked at my drink with a stupid smile that of course, I didn't even realize I had. I tilted my head upon the realization that my glass was already empty. 'When did I drink all of it?' I thought, not even remembering how I got there in the first place. But the thought of losing memory was so funny that it only made my smile bigger. Depression, anxiety, fear, nothing really mattered now. All it mattered was the emptiness of my glass. 

But then, why did my cheeks feel wet? I laughed, not understanding anything. 

I knew my stomach was full, and I knew I was on the verge of vomiting, yet something made me want more. My unconsciousness wanted more. Maybe it wanted to pass out. Maybe it wanted to truly disconnect from real life. I don't really know what it was, but even if I knew I would feel worse if I still kept drinking, I asked for another round. Especially motivated to keep drinking when I felt my dizziness slowly fade away, and with it my capacity to not think. 

I slowly started to feel my senses return to me, my consciousness and ownership of my own body. But I didn't want to feel it back yet. I didn't want to feel it ever again. I frowned, feeling the darkness and emptiness overcoming me again. An emptiness that I was intending to fill with alcohol.

"Another one" I managed to say to no one in particular. There was a chuckle nearby, but it got muffled by the drunk loud talk of other people in the bar. 

"I think you've had enough" a man, the bartender, told me, and surprisingly I managed to catch it. I looked up from the bar to him, trying to focus my tired lids on his figure as everything went blurry from my sudden movement. 

"What do you mean?" I frowned at him, bitter. 

"I mean that you're drunk. We're not serving you any more drinks" the man said sternly, throwing the cloth he had used to clean the bar over his shoulder. I still couldn't quite look at him, but if I could have I would have probably seen his judging look. I mean, he must have looked at me judgingly, everyone in the bar must have been silently judging me. 

"I'm a minor," I answered defiantly "If I got out and told how you helped me get drunk you better say goodbye to your bar" I said slowly with a proud smirk "Now pour me another drink" I added, my smile falling suddenly as I waited for my glass to be refilled.