Loving Maddie (Loving Jaxton Spin-off #2) 18+ ✔️

Chapter 28 - holding tears

Maddie's POV

When I wake up in the middle of the morning on Christmas Eve Day, I'm a crying mess before the day starts, because it's my last full day with Lexington. I smile looking at my engagement ring on my finger as I wipe my tears away. I'm cuddled into my pillow with Lexington spooning in behind me naked. I can't believe he's leaving. It's hurting my heart knowing that yesterday was supposed to be the best day of my life, engagement day.

But now as I twist my ring around on my finger, it's kind of hard to know my fiancé is leaving. I wipe my tears while rubbing his tattooed arm on my waist. I grip his hand bringing it to my chest as I hold it over the sheet and kiss his hairy knuckles. I rub his hand in mine as I look at his hands trying to memorize the way they feel on me and how they feel in mine.

I look at his short and dull nails as I rub them. I smile looking at his black nail he hit under a hammer making me smile. I remember when he came home and acted like he was dying while holding ice on his hand afterward like it hadn't happened at least ten times before. I see his cracked-up skin on his working hands, and it's amazing how these hands work so hard during the day, and at night they are just gentle on me.

I'm now officially sobbing while holding his hand on my mouth as I smell it. His legs are wrapped around mine, and he's comforting me in his sleep but I can't stop crying. Looking over at the clock it's four in the morning.

I move over and flip onto my side as I wrap Lexington's arm around my body and grip his face in my hand. I rub his cheek watching him sleep as I softly contain my tears. I know he's fast asleep but looking at my fiancé, I love him.

I love him. I love him so damn much. I love him so much my head knows he's coming back in three months but my heart knows my other half is leaving me for three months and can't get over it.

I'm wiping my tears when I see Lex's eyes flutter open and softly brush his cheeks. He sees me breaking down as he moves his head softly and I push my head into his neck.

"Baby." He whispers as I feel my early tears running down my face and onto his neck.

"Mads." He whispers while rubbing my back in his hand. "I know you'll be back soon I know that. But my heart." I whisper softly as he kisses my forehead over and over again.

"Mads please stop crying baby." He whispers into my hair as I grip his head in one hand. "I love you," I whisper as he sighs.

"Mads-" his voice cracks as I look up at his face. His eyes are full, for the first time ever while I sob my heart out to him. I've never been this bad before, it's never hit me like this. Sure I've cried, but never have I ever been hit by emotions like this.

"Mads," he whispers as I rub his jaw and he closes his eyes. I know he's going to cry seeing me like this if I don't stop.

"Please don't." He whispers opening his eyes back up as I blink away more for my tears. "Baby, please." He mumbles as I wipe my tears while holding his face. He grips my head in his hands and lays a big kiss on my lips calming me down. 

"I love you," I whisper pulling away. "Mads." He whispers sitting up with me in his arms. He cuts on the light and holds me into his chest as I rub his arm and he holds me into his chest.

"Listen to me. Baby, it'll only be three months. I don't know what to tell you. Do you-, can you really not handle me being gone for only three months?" He asks as I sigh and nod after a few seconds.

"I can. But I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sorry. It really just finally hit me." I whisper as I kiss his lips.

"I'm sorry," I whisper as he kisses my lips back. "Baby I know it sucks. But it's for us, it's for us. Once I go, get the clientele up, it'll be better for us. I'll start making more money to pay for the wedding, and eventually some babies." He whispers kissing my cheek.