Ended Up With Color Blue

CHAPTER: 15

Chapter 15

A real smile can't be hidden on the lips, it shows up on purpose, you can't stop it because that's how you really feel.

I could just see the reflection of my smiling face in the side mirror of my car. Whatever I try to be serious but I can't do. When I remember the funny thing that happened to Jazure I can't help but smile in the emptiness.

I got out of the car and went straight into the house. I met Manang, she almost dropped the glass she was holding when she saw me. "Ba't nakangiti ang alaga ko? May nangyari ba?" salubong na tanong manang. Mahina akong natawa dahil sa tanong ni manang. 

"Did I have something wrong with my head so I'm smiling on purpose?" She smiled at me and shook her head. "Your lips just smile when something makes you happy."

I clutched the strap of my bag as we walked into our room, the mouths of others gaping as they stared at me. I just ignored them but continued walking.

"Namamalikmata ba ako? Nakangiti siya." Niyugyog siya ng kasama niyang babae. "Ang pogi niya kapag nakangiti."

"Himala nakangiti siya ngayon."

Nawala ang bulong bulongan na naririnig ko ng tuluyan na akong makapasok sa loob ng room namin. Ang iba ay napatingin sa gawi ko na may takang tingin sa kanilang mga mukha. Tumikhim ako at sumeryoso ng tingin. 

Hindi pa umaalis ang tingin nila sa akin kaya isa-isa ko silang tinignan ng masama, nataranta sila at umiwas ng tingin. Tinapunan ko ng tingin si Ryan na padabog na umupo sa tabi ko, itinaas niya ang dalawa niyang paa sa lamesa kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. 

Napatingin siya sa akin at ilang beses na lumunok at dahan-dahan ibinaba ang paa niya. Ang ayaw ko sa isang tao ay 'yung itinataas ang paa niya sa lamesa dahil nakakawala ng respeto 'yun para sa akin. 

He adjusted the collar of his garment and sneezed. It's early so there is no teacher yet so others are chatting with their friends inside. I sat down at my desk as I stared at the emptiness.

The days are getting less and less but I still don't know what I will take in college. Dad has asked me a few times but I remain silent. Others say it feels easier to tell a stranger than to someone you already know.

There haven’t been too many activities these past days. A few days ago, the fun of each student ended. I can breathe easily now because everything is light unlike this past week.

Only now did I notice that I could no longer go to the club. Ryan and Jacob always invited me but I totally refused their invitation. I learned over the days that money should not be spent on trivial things.

There was something I wanted to do secretly, this way I knew the world would be pleased with me. I've thought about it a few times, so since I thought about it I haven't spent too much on myself.

It's nice to feel when my world is getting light, I know this is just where I'm starting to walk in my new self, I know God is there to guide me in my activities.

If I were to be a warrior in this world I would want them to recognize me as a brave man, even if I am not perfect in the eyes of others I know there is someone who believes in me as I am.

Going home, I decided to start what I wanted to do. I looked in the mirror of my car and smiled slightly. I started to operate my car until I reached the side of the road.