CHAPTER: 23

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Chapter 23

Live as you are, love your ability because that is one of the treasures you have.

Jazure fell asleep while leaning on my shoulder, we are going home now. The earphone was placed in my ear while listening to a song. I stared out the window, observing every view we passed.

I looked at Jazure as she moved and squeezed her face even harder. I didn’t realise I was already smiling as I watched her asleep.

Maybe if Jazure wasn’t by my side now, I wouldn’t be able to experience being happy again even for just a short time. Babalik ulit ako sa katotohanan na pilit kong tinatakasan, pero sa pagkakataong ito wala na akong takas dahil mundo na ang gumagawa ng paraan. 

Sometimes, hindi mo maintindihan ang mundo kung ano ba talaga ang gusto nito para sa akin pero sa bawat araw na dumadaan, na-realize ko na hindi ang mundo ang magdidikta sa atin kundi ang kasalukuyan natin. May mga bagay na bigla na lamang darating na siyang magdudulot ng pagkabigo, kahit ano pang paghahanda natin kung nandito na wala na, kahit lumaban ka man mangyayari ang dapat mangyari. 

It's like I'm dancing in a wave of colour, but I'm still being pulled into black. I can see a hand pulling me towards her, my vision is blurred but with every passing second my vision clears and there I can clearly examine her face.

Jazure… 

The other students looked at the three of us sitting on the side. Aabutin ko na sana ang mineral bottle ko nang agad itong kinuha ni Ryan at inabot sa akin. Napailing ako ng ilang beses. 

While we were eating I couldn’t help but get annoyed because they just watched me while eating, when they noticed that I was looking at them, they were alerted and took their food and ate.

"Ang sarap! Heaven…" ani ni Ryan habang nakapikit ang dalawa niyang mata. I laughed softly because I knew he was just acting.

Ryan poured the rest of his food on Jacob. Jacob's eyes widened even more, Ryan whispered something so Jacob did nothing and swallowed it bago tumingin sa akin na tila nawalan ng kulay ang mukha. 

"Masakit pa rin ba 'yung kamay mo?" tanong ni Jacob. Ilang araw ko ng hindi nararamdaman na kumikirot ito, humihilom na din siya kaya hindi na ganun kasakit nung una. 

Umiling ako. 

"Anong plano mo after graduation?"  Ryan asked. I stopped for a moment. I still don't know what to do, everything is still messy and I don't want to stress dad because it will only stress him.

Siniko siya ni Jacob. "Maybe you want us to go on vacation first, it's summer too," said jacob. I knew they wanted to help me feel better, but I didn’t know if that was enough to change how I felt for the rest of my life.

"Can we hang out tonight?"

We just found ourselves staring at the glowing households below. Pumunta si Jacob sa sasakyan niya, nakabukas ang likod nito dahil nandoon ang mga snack at beer na binili niya kanina. 

I squeezed my hand into the pocket of my jacket because of the cold wrapping around. I sighed as Ryan hugged my arm, I immediately pushed it away so he pouted.

One of these places we always went to, we brought food, drinks and played a loud song. That’s always our routine when we come here. When those memories come back to me, my heart softens when I watch them, especially when they try to make me happy. 

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