Prologue

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I hold on tightly to my glass of wine as I watch each and every woman in this building laughing ever so freely showing their perfect smiles and that makes me wonder how I'd look if I was to smile and laugh genuinely. I seriously don't remember the last time I had a good happy and carefree laugh.

"Hi."  I turn and it's some guy so I walk away not bothering to answer. I put my glass down and rush off to my car in the parking and I speed home.

I'm welcomed by emptiness , the coldness that has given me comfort and had suddenly became my zone. I throw my shoes off and my bag to the couch. I take it back to the 90's and get kicking with cooking since I feel like it. I'm used to cooking full meals almost every other day. I dish up my food then leave my food to cool down while I go shower. After my shower I eat then get my things ready for work.

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Okay before I get carried away , my name is Khensani Qondisile Myeza.  I seriously don't understand myself why I have a Xitsonga and Zulu name and my surname is Xhosa , I guess I'll never know. I'm a 18 year old girl making through this life without really knowing what I'm doing. I grew up in an orphanage but ran away at the age of 16 , I lived in the streets for a couple lf months until I met this lady who took me in but unfortunately she disappeared after she had tried doing research about me and left me in her apartment. I have been surviving by sleeping with an older man that bought me a new flat and helped me get a job in a call centre in Sandton. Thulani is a 56 year old man that is taking care of me and yes we use protection.

I do wish to study like every other kid my age but it is impossible since no-one can really help with my fees and I've once tried asking Thulani but he refused so I left it like that. I'm also a loner. I don't have friends or anything close to that , even at work I'm known as a cold stuck up bitch and I really don't care what they say cause that's their own opinions.

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