Collection Of Eclectic Poems From An Introverted Mind.

Story Time: Kids On Drugs

Im standing in a room surrounded by the ones that know me best.

Supposedly better than the rest.

Yet even they remain oblivious to the sadness that I don't keep exposed.

Im not good at speaking my feelings - plus I don't want to impose.

So Instead of reaching out - I snort a  remedy up my nose. 

My insides begin to fester as the sadness continues to grow.

Still never will I have the vulnerability to let it show.

 My personas a whole being  that sometimes I dont even know.

Taking all these drugs like  I'm the wolf of wall street.

 Doing it till I'm belligerent - barely managing to stand on my feet.

Then I drink till I cant see because I can't admit defeat.

Ive got no where else to be.

So its drink, pop, smoke, snort, and repeat till the cycles complete.

Now I'm feeling too numb.

I try to balance it out by putting smiley face pills on my tongue.

I cant let all of this chemistry in my interior wear off you see? 

Because truthfully my biggest fear is being left alone with me.

I've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match, what a catch.

I use the substances to tape up the holes in my soul like a temporary adhesive patch.

Now I'm all out of party favors. My life savers.

So I stumble to the car. 

Man I cant even walk straight.

Yet nothing will stop me on my mission due to this pain I must alleviate.

I dont think you could understand or even reciprocate.

Most in touch with my higher self - so I smoke to elevate.

 I hit the gas.

 I'm driving fast.

Wait, was that a red light I just passed?

CRASH !

Something flew up on my glass and fell straight to the concrete.

In a state of shock as I remain frozen in my seat .

The silence surrounding me giving me an eerie vibe.

 The fear came crashing down on me like a sky high tide.

My mind keeps yelling drive! It was probably just an animal, Im sure it'll survive.

So I hit the gas again and continue on my way.

Im finally back home - Im shaken up.

 My nerves have come back to life - so I pour up another cup.

I turn on the tv. To my surprise what do i see?

Breaking news! 

What does it say? A hit and run left someone dead around my way.

Little girl, 6 years old.

My stomach drops and I vomit out all of my emotions and most of my chemical potions.

Her mama is crying on the news.
Her heart is shattered

I left it broken

Her clothes are soaked, a mixture of tears from her eyes and blood from her daughters clothing. 

This is a life that I've stolen.

One that hardly began.

You'd think I would have learned my lesson.

I do even more drugs now because of this secret I'm suppressing.

Too coward to come foward with a confession

Pain just keeps on manifesting.

Sadness being recycled.

Drugs keep being taken for survival

Hurt people - hurt people.

Still thats not an excuse

All this blossoms from the stem of drug abuse and drug misuse.