The Twins

Chapter Fifteen: The Makeup

For the most part Nat seemed to be ignoring me, which didn't feel good, nor did I absolutely hate the feeling, at least she didn't try to kill me. Not that she would have to try, I would do it myself eventually. But at least she wasn't in the state of mind to tell me she wanted nothing to do with me, i mean I'm just happy she doesn't want me gone. I was wrong when I was saying I know what you're thinking, it's what I was thinking. I created the monster that was my no humanity sister. And it did scare me, and I did care. Well I didn't, but I do now. I hate myself for this. I always will. And it's not ok. Maybe I'd stake myself to save Natty from further influence from my somewhat toxic self I suppose. You only live once right? That is the saying I believe. My sister didn't need me to prosper, because I was wrong. She didn't lose the merge because she was weak. She lost the merge because she couldn't bear to lose me. But to be free she needed to, whether she would admit it or not. In order for one to fly the other needed to die. What symmetric poetry I've gotten myself into with life. Perhaps Nat would have been better off born a single child with a younger brother named Niko. he would have grown up to be someone had that been the case. Because let's face it, no matter how much he begged would have never taught him incendia until she felt he was ready, and even if she had she would have remembered to warn him about hay and wood and stuff, whereas I forgot burdened by the day earlier. I would give anything to have him back. But it's too late for that now. So here I sit, head slumped into this beautiful girl's lap, my back being rubbed, my tears being wiped, and me being comforted. "Why are you being so nice?" I question. "I've done nothing to deserve it, first you stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life and saved a random guy in the process, now you're comforting me, why?" I asked more detailed this time when I looked into a puzzled face the first time. "Because you may have flipped that switch, but there were times, I could see it trying to break through. And I felt for you. I don't know why." She likes seeing me fight myself, that sounded a lot better in my head, but not so much as I'm writing it down now. This quadbrid or whatever she was, is an angel at the least. "Thank you." i choke out, moreover shocked at how she explained it to me.

Anyway enough of my sadness I suppose there is a storyline to continue here, and now that I look back on it. I felt a presence watching us the whole time from the cave until we reached the next town that Lewis had holed up in. I just didn't know what the feeling was, it felt like a tingling in the back of my head kinda like how a spider senses danger by the vibrations in their hairs, I just couldn't tell what the danger was until it was too late. By the time I feel confident enough to tell someone I think we are being followed, I'm grabbed from being and pulled behind a rock. There's a hand over my mouth, guess my magic isn't going to save my ass. I'm also being held with great force. Whoever, no, whatever has hold of me is most definitely supernatural. I feel for where their skin meets mine letting my skin inhale like it's a lung fighting for its last breath. The sensation I always seemed to love the feel of when I'm in danger, taking feel wherever they made skin to skin contact with me. Their hand falling from my face weakened. "MOTUS!" The person was sent flying into the rock in front of us two. It's at that moment that I catch the familiar scent. Sophia. No! What did I do? She's bleeding, and there's a lot of it. I want to help her scream and do something. Feed her your blood. Apply pressure. But I'm so overcome with bloodlust that it's all I can think of. I want to drain her until there's no more left. No! That's Sophia, Kate. "Natty!?" I scream knowing she will not be as foolish as me. "Nat I can't help her!" Before I know it I'm being pulled away by someone. It's more as if I'm in a trance than anything. It's mesmerizing. That's when I hear Nat curse and she bites into her wrist forcing Sophia to drink from her in order to help her. Accept the blood you silly girl. I know she's not rejecting vampire blood in a moment like right now. This was my fault, had I been paying attention I would have noticed the smell. I let my mind wander. Not again. It's never going to happen while on an important life threatening business like this ever again. Finally after what feels like forever, her heartbeat is back to normal. And she's calling out to me. "Kate." I can still smell the blood, it's strong. Almost too strong. "Sophia for your own Safety please stay where you are. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I'm sorry I did.... You caught me off guard." I whisper almost shuddering at the thought of hurting someone I cared about. Unshed tears brimming my eyes threatening to fall violently. "I'm all healed up Kate. It's ok." So you think Sophia. But it's not. "No Sophia it's not. I'm not ok. I can smell the blood growing old and drying on your arm right now. The blood is still dripping from your neck to your collarbone. And it's driving me insane." Maybe I scared her and she'll get the point. I hope so. "You're one of the ones we read about right? A ripper? You can't stop or something like that?" She clings to my voice as if it's the last time she's gonna hear it. "Yeah. I'm broken Soph. Maybe I always knew I was." I say more calmly now that it's like old times. Us talking about our problems as If they aren't staring is right in the face. What gets me the most is the face Natalie makes when I say this to Sophia. You can't tell me she didn't know I'm the broken fuck up of the family? I'm sorry, did you expect this story to have fairytales and happy endings? Well guess what no one ever really does a virgin because no matter what life fucks us all in the end. Now it's almost impossible to keep the tears down. They are running down my throat, feeling like razor blades the whole way down. The only comfort I get out of all of this is the small hugs and eye wipes Shylo can manage while restraining me to keep Sophia at arms length at the least. "I met a pack that can help you guys find Lewie or whatever his name is. That's why I came here, Kate. For you. You too Nat." She gives a shy smile when Nat looks appalled that she wasn't mentioned at first. "Does this mean you'll be sticking around this time Duch?" Natalie asks more curiously than me I suppose. "I can if you two want that." She responds as simply as if life was just here and then gone the next. "Yes." Is all I whisper. I missed her. Now that my emotional range was back to where I started except the exception of being a little more fucked up, I needed someone like her to help keep me in check. Not that Shylo wasn't doing a great job, this was her second time after all. But this is someone I know. Maybe she'll be able to get through to the side of me not overcome by blood next time. Hopefully there isn't a next time. But it sounds like my luck.