Falling for a Maximoff

Chapter 5: Nats vision

TW: Red Room stuff, like the things Natasha went through

Pov Natasha

I stare at the ground in front of me. My mind is repeating what that little witch put in my head.
She messed with almost all of our minds and we’re all just sitting in the quint jet, not talking, just trying to cope.

The same pictures appear in my head, over and over again. It was a mixture of memories and something that never happened, luckily. But it all felt so real…

I was back in the Red Room, I saw the trainings I went through and felt the pressure and pain they caused me.
I couldn’t complete my training or ‘graduate’ because I was pregnant.
It didn’t make sense since no one there was the father and we never got outside but my brain couldn’t think of that when I was lost in my mind.

I lay there in a hospital bed, my contractions coming fast and I knew it wouldn’t be long until I gave birth.
For some reason the Red Room let me be pregnant, they didn’t stop the pregnancy or anything. But they also didn’t treat me different. I had the same amount of training as before. Only when I got too big and couldn’t properly move, they allowed me to rest, well rest is too much said, they gave me easier tasks which still were exhausting but not physically.
I picked out a name but told no one.
It was my child and I wouldn’t let the Red Room know how I would call my daughter. I simply didn’t want them to know, it felt like the only private thing I had.

When everything was ready, I gave birth to her, exited to hold her in my arms but I didn’t get the chance.
As soon as she was out, they took her away, I didn’t even get to see her, I just heard her cries. They filled the room and when she got carried out, it were my cries that filled the room.
I don’t know what I thought would happen but I thought I would at least have my daughter, would be able to hold her in my arms and kiss her, tell her how much I love her and that I would protect her.
But I never got the chance. They took her away from me.
I tried to stand up and run after her but I was too weak and after a doctor injected something into me, I lost conscious.

The weeks after that I just lay in my room, hoping everyday to see my daughter, to hold her and to whisper her name.
None of that happened.
At some point I had to go back to training and no matter how much I asked and begged, they wouldn’t tell me anything about where she was and if she was still alive.

After three or four years I was about to give up the hope to ever see her again, when I walked down a corridor and looked into one of the windows.
My heart almost stopped as I saw a toddler with y/h/c hair and green eyes in a dark grey shirt and matching pants. She stood there, watching an older assassin kick a training dummy.
Her eyes observed every move and she turned around, facing a smaller dummy and copying the moves.
I stood there for quite a while, watching my four-year-old daughter learning to fight and become an assassin.

Once our eyes met but she didn’t recognize me, how could she? She never meet me.
The doors were shut and I knew they were locked, I didn’t even need to try.
“She is the youngest ever assassin in our program.”
I turned around to see the man behind the voice that I hated with all my being.
“She’s just a toddler.”
“Exactly and she will never know what love is or how to care for someone. She will be the perfect weapon.” He smiled proudly and anger built up in me.
“That’s my daughter you’re talking about!” I almost spat at him.

I felt a sharp pain shooting through my cheek as his hand hit me, scolding me for my tone.
“That’s not your daughter anymore, that’s Assassin number one.”
“What did you name her?” My voice is just a whisper as I watch my baby hit the dummy in the stomach.
“Assassin number one.”
She doesn’t even have a name, she’s just an object in this sick institution.
I swallowed my tears, I knew better than to cry in front of anyone here.

As the years went by, I watched her growing up, training to become the perfect assassin.
She held her first gun when she was five, firing at a target and not missing a shot. It broke me, seeing her like this and that I wasn’t able to protect her from this miserable life. And it almost broke me even more that she didn’t recognize me at all.
Most of the times she was too focused on her training to look through one of the windows but the few times she did, her eyes were always cold, without any emotion, just like the Red Room trained her to be.

I feel tears building up inside me, remembering those visions. It felt so real and when I snapped out of it, I was so scared that it was real, that she grew up in the Red Room and is a deadly assassin by now.
My sight gets a little blurry as I try to concentrate to stay in the present.
We’re on our way, back to Clints house because we’re all pretty shaken up.
As the quint jet lands and opens up, I stumble outside and to the house.
Clint opens the door and greets Laura who looks a little surprised but happy.
I follow him inside and stand in the living room as I hear footsteps on the stairs.

“Mama!” I turn around and see y/n running towards me, wrapping her arms around me.
I hug her tightly, not wanting to let go of her ever again.
She is okay, she didn’t grow up in the Red Room, I got out before she was even conceived and she had a good, safe childhood. She has a name and most importantly, she knows who I am.
I breathe in her smell and relax a little, now fully realizing, nothing of what this little witch put in my head was real.
Just the fact that I was in the Red Room.

“What’s the matter?” Y/ns voice is soft as she gently lets go of me and looks at me worried.
“I’m just glad you’re okay, that’s it.”
It looks like she has further questions but she swallows them down, knowing that I have to calm down first and aren’t really allowed to talk about it. 

A/n: Writing this chapter almost had me in tears, it made me sad and took me a few seconds to remember that it's just a vision.
Anyways, thank you for reading and love to you all <3