Falling for a Maximoff

Chapter 17: Suspicions

Pov Natasha

I'm sitting at the kitchen counter, working a bit on a mission report on my laptop.
It's Sunday 12 am and y/n still isn't up. She's been tired all week and it worries me. Last weekend she said, she just stayed up too late, which is fine, especially at the weekends but every morning, when I drove her to school, she seemed tired.
She barely talked to me and it felt like she was half asleep during the car rides. It got better in the afternoon but I'm wondering what's keeping her up at night.

Maybe she has nightmares? Or a lot of homework to do that keep her up? Or is something bothering her?
It feels like there is an endless number of things that could keep her awake at night. Maybe it's just something simple like reading or being on her phone but I still worry. I try to distract myself with work until she comes into the kitchen to get her breakfast. She's really happy and a big smile is on her face which fills my heart with joy, I love seeing her happy, it's one of my favorite things in the world.

"Good morning, mom." She greets me and kisses my cheek.
"Good morning, malyschka." I reply and pull her into a short hug.
She almost dances around the kitchen in happiness while preparing her breakfast and I can't help it but to smile. When she's done with prepearing, she sits down next to me and eats her food.
It feels good to see her in this kind of mood after the week of tiredness.
"Dorogory, can I talk to you after breakfast?" I ask and watch as she nods and gives me a thumbs up. We go to the living room to have some more privacy and she sits down on the couch next to me.

"How are you?" I start and watch her closely in case there are any body language signs that something's off.
"I'm great, thank you. How are you?" She asks back and I feel a little better, seeing that she's being honest.
"I'm honestly a little worried about you." I admit and watch as she tilts her head a little in confusion, silently asking why. "You've seemed off all week and were always tired." I explain calmly.

Her eyes show me that she knows exactly what I'm talking about but I can't see which other emotions she has about this. She keeps quiet for a few seconds, thinking about her answer.
"I just stayed up a little later than I should." She says vaguely and shifts a little in her spot.
I take her hand in mine but she still looks everywhere but my eyes. I'm not sure if it's because she's worried about my reaction or if she's uncomfortable talking about it.

"Can you tell me what kept you up so long? I won't be mad, I just want to know." I explain, hoping to take some worries away from her side.
She starts chewing on her bottom lip, which shows me that she's a little nervous about it.
"Is it because of school? Or nightmares? Or thoughts? Or discomfort?" I try to help her but she shakes her head every time, still not looking at me.

"Can you look at me, malyschka?" I request softly and her eyes finally meet mine. There is some insecurity in them and it makes my heart a little heavy to see that. Something is up but she doesn't know if or how to communicate it.
"You know I love you with all my heart, right?" I make sure and she nods. "Good and I wouldn't judge you for anything. You can tell me anything, if someone is picking on you in school or if you maybe have trouble following the teacher or if it's about your sexuality or your gender. I won't love you any less if you decided to be a boy or non-binary or something else." I encourage her and see her expression soften, a slight smile forming on her lips.

"You are amazing, mom. Do you know that?" She asks out of the blue and I smile at her compliment and squeeze her hand in mine. "I appreciate your openness so much and thank you for making sure I know that I can be whoever I want to. But it's nothing like that, don't worry about it. I'm good, just a little tired."
I can see in her eyes that she's telling the truth but there is still something there that she doesn't want to tell me.
"So, what does keep you up then?" I push a bit, wanting to know the reason and make sure she really is okay.
She breathes in and looks at our hands before she looks back up at me.

"I just have been on my phone or reading and then I lose track of time." She says but her body language and her eyes tell me she's lying. I'm not sure if I should be annoyed or worried about the lie.
I appreciate honesty and don't like it when she lies to me, she knows that. But maybe it's something she is a little ashamed of talking about. Another idea comes to my mind.

"Is it something with your body? Do you feel like you want to try something and maybe see what you like?" I ask, not wanting to ask to directly. She looks a bit confused for a few seconds until she gets what I mean and her cheeks turn read.
"Gosh, mom! No." She says quickly and I almost chuckle at her reaction. I run my free hand through my hair and look at her.

"We both know that it's not the phone and book thing. I could tell you were lying about that. But apparently you don't want to talk about it. And that's okay, I won't force you to. Just know that you can talk to me about anything and that I'm here for you. Try to go to bed earlier and please don't lie to me." I say and emphasize my last words with a look that's a bit sterner. She nods a little guilty.

"Okay, thank you for understanding. And I'm sorry about the lying, mom." She replies and looks at me apologetically. I pull her into a hug that she returns.
"It's alright, I forgive you, malyschka. Just try to be honest with me, okay?" I ask and feel her nod.
When we pull away, I smile at her which she returns slightly.

"So, what are your plans for today?" I ask to lighten up the mood a bit and she thinks about the question.
"Maybe we could train a little today? Because I feel like I have some energy bottled up and since it's raining outside, I can't go for a walk or so." She states and looks at me questioningly.
"Of course, that sounds like a great idea. And maybe we could also train your arching, if you like. You are really doing great at that." I encourage and she smiles proudly.
"Yes, that sounds good." She agrees.
"Meet me at the gym in ten minutes?" I suggest and she nods and gets up to get changed.

We spend the afternoon in the gym, training some comeback and fighting skills. She gets really good at these.
I mean I taught her the first few basics when she was in first grade so she could free herself if a stranger touched her but still. The moves are clean and sometimes she even surprises me with a trick and pins me down. I'm honestly proud about that and it makes me feel a bit better, knowing she knows how to react in dangerous situations and how to fight off someone that wants to harm her or anything.
Not that that would happen regularly. Luckily it never happened so far and I am doing my best to protect her.
I mean, she's my only child and I love her more than anything. My first priority is to keep her safe, even if she sometimes doesn't like it.

Just like she didn't like it when I told her to stay away from Wanda. I know she fought with us against Ultron, at least in the end but she also has magical powers that are dangerous. She could easily hurt y/n without touching her and from afar, there's nothing she could do to protect herself.
And I have to admit that I'm being extra careful because I still think about the vision that girl put in my head during our first encounter. The pictures sometimes still come up and I try my best to push them away but just the thought that my baby would have grown up in the Red Room hurts me. I know she's safe now but still.

I never told y/n that it was Wanda who put that vision in my head because I'm not sure how she would react. Even though I'm her mother, y/n can be quite protective of me sometimes.
Which is cute since I can take care of myself but I get that she wants to protect me. I just don't need her to want to fight Wanda for what she did to me.
That fight probably wouldn't turn out fair and I don't even want to imagine what Wanda would put in y/ns head.
So, it's for the best if I keep that detail to me and my daughter away from that witch until we know, she's really on our side.

A/n: Nat's pretty suspicious by now. What do you think, how she'll continue, knowing we keep something from her?

Translations:
Malyschka = Baby
Dorogory = Sweetheart

Thanks for reading and love to you all <3