Falling for a Maximoff

Chapter 44: Wondering

Pov y/n

The sun shines through the leaves on the trees while I slowly walk through the forest. It's calm and after a few more minutes I reach my little spot. My eyes wander over the log to sit on to the shelter I built and I remember the one time I brought Wanda here. That was a really nice afternoon but also the day I got kidnapped. Chills spread on my skin and I push that thought away.

I decide to sit in the shelter and look up at the roof consisting of branches, leaves and some wires.

Working on this was a nice occupation and it was totally worth it, I feel safe here. Especially since I know that this is still officially on the compound, so no stranger could walk through this forest and therefore I'm safe here.

I'd be safer in the compound but I didn't wanna stay there. Not alone at least.

Mom has some meetings this morning and Wanda is in school right now. Due to my panic attack, mom decided it would be best if I stay at home today. I can take my time processing and calming down like this. Going back to school to soon might trigger a similar reaction and we don't want to risk that. We'll see how I'm feeling after the weekend but I already feel better today, so I think I should be fine to go to school on Monday.

I just feel bad that Wanda has to go by herself today. She said it was totally fine and that I can take all the time I need but I still feel bad. Except my friends, she doesn't really know anybody yet and I'm worried she'll feel alone. But she assured me she will be fine.

Without her or my mom, I don't feel like hanging around the compound. It's not like I don't like the other Avengers, they are just also pretty occupied most of the time and I feel like they don't know how to act around me. They don't mean to annoy me with that, they just want to make sure they don't trigger me or something.

I appreciate that but it's weird when everyone walks on eggshells around you. Mom and Wanda know me better and therefore know what triggers me and treat me normally. Well, mostly.
Of course, there are moments where they are more careful but not that often. Besides, both of them make me feel safe and at home and without them, I don't know, something is missing in the compound.

I lay down and feel the earth underneath my body and breathe in the smell of the forest to distract myself from my thoughts. They constantly want to go back to yesterday but I'm worried I might have another panic attack. Even though I had a long talk with mom and Wanda on how to calm myself down, I'm still worried.

My phone buzzes and I grab it from my jeans pocket and smile at the message from Wanda. She sent me a picture of a little drawn sun. Wanda really is the cutest, she never fails to put a smile on my face. I send her a selfie in return and we chat for a few minutes before she has to go back to class.

Tony bought her a smartphone when she started to come to school with me so she could always respond in an emergency.

I concentrate back on the current moment and listen to the birds chirp. Their conversations calm me down and I have to admit, I really missed this while being captured.

I start to think about the other widows there, they probably miss it too. Or do they simply forgot how it feels to be outside? That would be so sad. If they ever talk about their lives before?

Well, I kinda doubt that, they barely talked to each other, except the younger ones. I feel really sorry for the young girls who grow up there, without anyone who really cares about them. Or do the older widows take care of them, like when they are hurt or so?

That reminds me of the one time one of the widows took me to a small medical station after I got hurt. She was nice to me, at least in that moment. What was her name again?
Right, Yelena.

Thinking back about her, I remember her telling me she was my mom's sister. She was nice to me because I reminded her of my mom when she was younger.
I'm not sure if I believe her but did she have any reason to lie? Maybe I can ask mom about her when I go back to the compound.

If she spoke the truth and is my mom's sister, if adopted or blood relative doesn't matter, she would be my aunt. The thought of having another family member makes me smile. I'd love to have an aunt and to get to know the family of my mom better. It's not like I don't consider Clint, Laura and their kids my family, but it's different.

Thinking about it makes me realize that mom never really told me about her parents or her childhood. I only know she was in the Red Room from age eleven until she escaped. I'll ask her about that too, when I go back. It would be kinda exciting to get to know more members of my mom's family and mine.

Does mom know Yelena is still in the Red Room?
An idea plops into my head. Would it be possible to rescue her?

I mean they managed to get my mom and me out of there and I would like to get to know Yelena better, if she really is my aunt.
Or would a second rescue mission be dumb because the first one already almost failed? At least that's what I gathered from Wanda's and mom's telling.

I let my thoughts run further into that direction. If we would be able to get Yelena out of there, maybe we could also save some of the others. No one deserves to be there and all of the girls and women in there deserve freedom. But that would mean we would have to destroy the Red Room completely. The thought is actually quite nice and kinda calming, knowing I won't ever get captured again and neither will other young females.

My mind continues to think about that and with every minute, I am fonder of the idea. But since I have no idea on how to plan a mission and what there is to think about, maybe I could ask Tony, or mom.

Before I set my mind to much on being able to destroy that hell hole, I lead my thoughts into a different direction. I think about Wanda again. She really has been amazing throughout the past weeks and I can't imagine how my life would be without her. It feels like I've known her for so long now but if I calculate correctly, it's only around two and a half months or so. And we've been together for two weeks. It feels longer than that because I feel so comfortable around her and safe.

It feels kinda natural to be her girlfriend, like it's supposed to be this way. We just work together and that even though we kinda had a bumpy start...and further relationship. We never really had a "normal" relationship.

I don't regret our steps but thinking about it, reminds me that we never really went on a date or something like that. We just started to spend time together and hung out. One could consider that a date but for me it's not really one.

Maybe I should take her on a date, yes I would actually really like that. I think it would be cute. We could spend some time together, alone and not in the compound, surrounded by adults or Friday.

I smile at the idea and start thinking about where I could take her and what we could do. Since I've never been on a date nor planed one, I have no clue how to do it but I'll figure it out.

My phone buzzes again and I pick it up to see a message from my mom, telling me she's done with the meetings and would start to make lunch soon, asking if I wanna join her. I type a quick reply and get up, wiping the dirt of my clothes and make my way back to the compound. Maybe lunch will be a good opportunity to ask her about Yelena, our family and a potential plan on how to destroy the Red Room.

Around ten minutes later I step into the kitchen and see her chopping some vegetables. I wash my hands and help her. She asks about my day so far and I tell her I was in the forest. It would be too blunt to ask her now, straight away. Besides, she's busy with cooking so I'll just wait till we ate and ask her then.

A tiny part of me gets excited, maybe I do have more family and just don't know about them. 

A/n: A little more insight of what goes on in y/n's head. :D
Thanks for reading and love to you all <3