Falling for a Maximoff

Chapter 63: Wanda's side of the story

Pov Wanda

The warm water of the shower makes my body relax and I lean my head against the wall.
Today has been a lot to say the least. I knew the mission would be exhausting and dangerous but I never thought it would have this outcome.

A breath leaves my mouth and I close my eyes for a few seconds. Bad idea, flashes of what happened flicker in front of my eyes. I quickly open them back up and sigh, this will take some time to work through.

After I feel clean again, I get out of the shower and get dressed in sweat pants and a hoodie, not in the mood for other clothes. I flop down on my bed, my limbs stretched away from me and I stare against the ceiling.
It feels good to lay down but feels weird to do it in my own bed.

Ever since y/n was rescued from the Red Room, we slept together in her bed and I only used my room to get changed or take a shower or so. The bed feels too big and a little empty without her next to me.

A silent knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts and I lift my head and call them in.
The door opens slowly and y/n pokes her head into the room. I smile at her a little before letting my head fall back into the pillow.

She closes the door and walks over to me. Without a word, she lays on top of me and nuzzles her head into my neck, her arms wrapping around my upper body.
I breathe in her scent and hug her back. Her breaths against my neck tickle a little but also remind me that this is real.
We stay in this position, just enjoying being together.

My thoughts drift away again and I think about what happened on todays mission. My throat tightens and I feel tears welling up in my eyes as I think about the panic that shot through my body when the bomb went off too early.

My breath becomes more shallow and silent tears roll down my face. Y/n's lips kiss my cheeks and her thumb rubs away my tears. When I look at her, I can see her crying as well.
I hug her tighter and can feel her shaking.

We both cry in the comfort of the other, letting out all the emotions we both feel right now. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable with each other while holding us close.
I don't question her tears and neither does she question mine, we just cry in silence, only disturbed by a sob here and there.

Over time we both calm down and I take my hand away from her back to wipe the last few tears away. She lifts her head to look at me and my heart aches a little at the sight of her red, puffy eyes but I know mine look the same. She lowers herself back down onto me to lock out lips.

The kiss is salty from all the tears but filled with so much emotion. One of my hands cups her face and I feel her sink further into me. When we pull away, we hold eye contact and both slowly sit up. I scootch to lean against the headboard and pull her to straddle me. She rests her arms on my shoulders and leans her forehead against mine.

"I thought I lost you." She mumbles, pain in her eyes and her voice raspy from all the crying.
I look at her and let my finger trace over her features. She isn't finished talking yet, so I stay silent to let her tell me everything she needs.

"When I heard that bomb going off, I knew you're still down there. You spoke over the coms a few minutes ago... My heart dropped and I ran back to see if I was right. When I saw that building crushed..." She lets out a sob and closes her eyes. I cup her face and rub my thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tears that slowly travel down her face.

"I thought you were dead. I thought I lost both you and my mom. There was this pain in my chest, followed by emptiness. It was horrible and I could only think about how it was my fault for wanting to free the widows. Clint assured me that it wasn't but I didn't believe him. My life felt like it was over, everything I care most about lost within seconds. It almost tore me apart and I couldn't stop crying." She ends her story and her voice is choked by the sobs that leave her mouth.

I bite my lip to keep my own tears at bay, my heart aching at how broken she looks while talking about it. I can't even imagine the pain she must have been through in those minutes she thought we were dead. I mean I lost people too but in a different way.

Y/n nuzzles her head back into my neck and I hold her close, my hands rubbing over her back to calm her down. I place soft kisses onto her temple and give her time to cry as long as she needs. I continuously whisper: "I'm here." into her ear to remind her that I am not dead and she isn't alone. She nods into my shoulder and when her sobs die down slowly, she leans back to look at me again. Her hands wipe away the tear stains on her face and she makes eye contact with me.

"Please don't ever leave me." She whispers and my heart almost breaks at her silent, scared and genuine voice.
"I won't ever leave you, my love." I promise and mean it. A tiny smile tugs on her lips and she kisses me softly.

"Wanna tell me what happened to you down there?" She asks carefully and searches my eyes for something. I gulp and nod, I need to talk about it.

"We found Dreykov and were in the middle of the fight. The bombs apparently were already placed as planned. We pulled back to have a quick talk about how to do this. At that point most of the widows were already outside, so we weren't disturbed. Suddenly there was a malfunction in Tony's system. Everything happened fast and we heard the bombs go off. It was a matter of seconds that the building would crash down on us. In those seconds I saw your face in front of me and I couldn't stand the thought of never seeing you again. I didn't want it to be over, I wanted to look into your face everyday for the rest of my life..." I gulp and fight the tears that sting in my eyes and start to trace her face again, moving my finger from her jar over to her cheeks and up to her eyebrows, back down over her nose. All while keeping eye contact with her, wanting to remember her face in every way possible.

"Without knowing what I was doing, I created some sort of shield around us. It held off the rocks from crushing us. It was very scary to see everything around us being destroyed. Keeping the shield up was hard but I did it. When the movements seemed to be over, I looked into the faces of the others, all of us scared. I was afraid we would never get out of there and die due to the lack of oxygen. But Tony and Thor took a lead and started to get rid of the stones right above us. It was difficult but they managed it. There slowly formed a way out. I remember looking at Nat, she was closest to me and I saw the same fear in her eyes as I held in mine. The fear of you being alone out there. Slowly but surely we made out way through the stones and went higher. There were parts that weren't too instable and I could stop the shield in those parts since it wore me out pretty good. It felt like forever to get to the surface and when Tony announced it would only be a little more, I helped them to remove the stones since we were safe at that point. Well, and then we flew out of there, I took your mom with me and the rest, well you know that, you were there."

I bite my lip and blink a few times to hold the tears in, the scared feeling inside me present again.
Y/n cups my face and my eyes dart up to meet hers.

"You did amazing, Wanda. You saved their lives, you are a hero. And I am beyond thankful that you did it, I don't know what I would have done without you or my mother. I love you Wanda, so much and I couldn't stand the thought of having lost you. That's why I am so happy that you reacted this quickly and saved yourself and the others." Y/n says, her eyes never leaving mine.

I slowly start to calm down and her words settle in my mind. I did save the others and myself, I did it for her because I also can't stand the thought of not seeing her again.

"Thank you for those words." I whisper, my voice not able to be louder right now.
She smiles and kisses my forehead, letting me burry my head in her shoulder.

Having her here with me helps a lot, she gives me comfort and makes me feel safe. We aren't in any danger anymore and I didn't lose her.And hopefully I never will.
I want to have her in my life forever and I wanna love her forever. 

A/n: Wanda's side of the story. I thought it was important to have them talk about it and process a little bit together.
Thanks for reading and love to you all <3