From Georgia to Montana

Chapter 2

It's a new day. A new life. A new school. And millions of new faces

After dropping the kids off at their new schools, I head to mine. I'm not sure any of us are ready for this new life. But I needed to get the kids away from that town, with its haunted memories and people who pity us but don't really care what happens to us.

I park outside the college and sit. For a moment I think about letting myself cry. But I can't, because I know if I start I won't be able to stop. So instead I take a deep breath and hop out of the truck, slinging my bag over my shoulder, slip my phone into my pocket, and walk into the school trying not to stand out.

Instead of trying to make friends I avoid people by keeping my head buried in my work or a book anytime the teacher isn't talking. I smile at people so they think I'm happy, that I'm just focused on my work. But reality is, I don't want to make friends. I don't want to set myself up for anymore pain.

Finally I'm out of school and head to my job. From 2 till 5 I will work at the public library. Mostly I will be putting books back where they belong or cleaning the place up. Then as soon as I am done at the library I will go to Orschlens and hopefully get home before the kids go to bed. My goal is to get another, higher paying job once we get more settled. For now we are still living out of boxes.

*****

By the time I get back to our new home it is late and the kids are all already asleep. I check on each, all sound asleep in there new beds. The bland walls remind me that it would be good to be able to go shopping at some point for paint, however that probably wont be able to happen for a while yet.

I head to my room and instead of keeping myself from crying,  I just sit on my bed and let the tears flow. I burry my head in my hands, trying to stifle my cries so that I don't wake my siblings up.

I change into my baggy t-shirt and sweats and, eventually, cry myself to sleep. Just praying that tomorrow will be better.