You can't be my mum (a Lucy Bronze fanfic) - Book 1

Chapter 11 - you don't have a problem with that do you?

Rosie's POV:
We were stood at the top of the stairs, "No! Stop it!" I was screaming at my dad. His eyes were filled with bitter rage and fury. His piercing stare made me push myself further back into the wall. His voice was so loud, so thunderous, so infuriated. All of his built up anger seized his trembling body. He grabbed me by the collar of my school shirt with one of his hands and brought me up to his face, I could almost feel the cruel blood pumping through his body. His other hand was balled into a fist, it was ready to respond to me if I tried to escape. He turned me round to face the stairs. My face froze. I couldn't react. I couldn't even attempt to get away from this inevitable injury, maybe even death. Right at the last second I yelled, "NO!". But it was too late...

"Rosie?!" I heard a familiar voice shout towards me. I launched myself forward, panting, with beads of sweat dripping down my face and neck. I brought my knees up to my chest and rocked my body back and forth. I bent my head down and closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on my breathing before I took in my surroundings. I could feel multiple bodies surrounding me which made the situation even worse. My head was so overwhelmed with what had happened it was throbbing with pain, inside and outside. Even with the headache, I still felt numb, like the walls were caving in. Like nothing mattered anymore. And then I realised...

When I was in that situation in my dreams. I wasn't shouting "no!" because I didn't want to die, it was the way I was going to die, by being pushed down the stairs in a toxic house by hostile people.

Once I had finally regulated my breathing, I slowly fluttered my eye lids open before removing my arms and laying my legs down flat on the bed. I took in my surroundings, Steph, Leah, Jordan were all stood up against the wall opposite my bed looking bewildered. Lucy was sat by me on one side and Keira was on the other. Lucy had placed a gentle hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. I didn't dare take a look at her face after I had just denied her affection for the first time since we'd met. I wanted to leave the awkwardness of everyone staring at me as soon as possible so I got off my bed and mumbled, "I'm taking a shower". When I had picked up some new clothes, I tried to walk towards the bathroom but a firm hand held me in place. Of course it was Steph, "err, no your not. You can't just disappear right after what just happened". I looked towards Lucy, hoping for some sort of signal that I could go continue with what I was doing, but she was in agreement with Steph. The only way my body knew how to respond was through lashing out to the people who care the most, "fuck off then, I'll shower in Rach and Millie's room". I shoved my sliders on aggressively and turned to look at them. As soon as I had said it, I knew I couldn't take it back. I think everyone was too in shock to say anything. As I left the room, I heard someone come chasing after me. I turned around and saw Keira. She desperately pleaded, "Rosie! Please come back, apologise and explain. No one will be angry with you, I promise. Please, for Lucy?". I replied, "I'm sorry, I can't, not now. Maybe later".

Since everyone was gathered in mine and Lucy's room, I had no where to go. I decided to go for a run even though I was just in my sliders. Before, exercise was the main temporary cure for my pain. It mended the wounds that had been made, but only for a short amount time. Whenever it felt like the darkness was enclosing me, I would run and run and run. I would run until I had to drag my aching body back to the house. And that's what I did.

In the back of my mind, I knew I had to apologise, it was the right thing to do. I knew what it felt like to be spoken to like that and no one deserved to go through the pain, torment and anguish I had gone through. I had no idea what the time was as I had left my phone in the room. It was around 8.15 when I had woken up, so it was probably about 9.45 maybe 10. My feet were throbbing, I was surprised my sliders hadn't eroded away with the pressure I was putting on them. We were all leaving camp after lunch at 2 so I needed to be quick about my apology. Steph and Keira were coming back to Manchester, but Leah and Jordan were going to Arsenal in London. I didn't want to leave things on a negative.