You can't be my mum (a Lucy Bronze fanfic) - Book 1

Chapter 45 - blackmail

Rosie's POV:

My heart was well and truly shattered. I had given Millie absolutely everything and it still wasn't good enough. She had single-handedly both improved my mental health and then fucked it up. I recognised she was becoming distant, but I naively pushed it to the back of my brain so I didn't have to deal with it. 

My whole body seemed to have shut down after I found out she was cheating on me. Part of me was still struggling to accept it. I was in denial. So many questions cascaded over my brain, waiting desperately to be answered. But I couldn't answer them - the only person who could was Millie. And I was in no hurry to talk to her again. 

She was my first relationship, my first meaningful kiss, the first person (except Lucy and Keira) who I shared personal things with. That's what makes the betrayal even worse. She knows me that well that she must've known how much this would hurt me. Having never been in a relationship before, I didn't know whether any of this was my fault. I presumed it had something to do with me - was I not good enough? Living in Sunderland, I was regularly told that I would never be good enough for someone. Moving to Manchester helped to restore some self-confidence in me, and now that had all been broken down again.

While Lucy and Keira were figuring things out with Barca, Leah decided to stay up in Manchester for a few extra days. Her injury was getting better every day and I had full confidence that she would be back on the pitch by December. My injury, however, was getting worse. Small things like bending over to tie my shoe laces had begun to send shooting pains up my back. After sitting in a chair too long I would struggle to straighten my back. Lucy had noticed and commented a few times but she was way too stressed to even engage in a conversation in anything other than Barcelona. 

It had been 3 weeks since I began to feel pain in my back and I was beginning to become slightly concerned. The past few days I had spent in bed obviously hadn't helped, but it was starting to effect my every day life now. Just like everything else that concerned me, I pushed it to the back of my brain and tried to forget I even thought about it. 

As I was lying peacefully in bed, no tears rolling down my face for once, I heard the door slowly push open. Immediately recognising the animal as a small body jumped on my bed and began to wag its tail in my face, "Narla! Do you want to have some cuddles with me?". She tried to push herself inbetween my body, but before she could get comfortable, a voice came from the door, "Narla hasn't come for cuddles, she's come to tell you to get out of bed". Feeling a weight on the bottom of my bed, I looked up and saw Leah sitting there with a sorry look on her face. She explained, "staying in bed all day isn't healthy Rosie. You haven't left this room in 2 days or eaten much". I mumbled, "my room is warm and comfortable and I haven't been hungry". Leah stood up, walked towards my window and opened my curtains, "finally, some sunlight let into your room". Rolling my eyes at her, I sighed, "in the nicest way possible, please leave". Leah chuckled, "no way, you're going to get out of bed and we're going out". I began to protest, but she interrupted me, "you have no say in this matter. You're going to have a shower, put on some fresh clothes, eat a proper meal, drink something other than Red Bull and come for a walk with me and Narla". Gritting my teeth, I knew I couldn't win this battle so I gave in and rose from my bed.

It was slightly embarrassing for Leah Williamson to see me in such a terrible, messy way. She was the captain of the England team and one of my childhood rolemodels. And now she was in my bedroom telling me what to do. 

Although I would never admit it to Leah, the shower and clean clothes did make me feel slightly better. Most of the pain had been evicted from my body through tears, and the remaining emotions were just full of anger. Anger at Millie for doing this to me. Anger at Ruby. Anger at myself for not noticing. If I had realised earlier, I would have been able to protect myself from all of this pain. I brushed my hair for what seems like the first time in forever, and even though my outfit of joggers and a football shirt was simple, it immediately made me feel refreshed.