You can't be my mum (a Lucy Bronze fanfic) - Book 1

Chapter 31 - there's cake?!

A/N - This chapter was ready yesterday, but to be honest, I was too tired to post it. Sorry for the delay.

On another note, the Queen has died and Keira has finally joined Barca! An eventful few days to say the least. What are everyone's thoughts?

Rosie's POV:
"What do you mean it's not the first time?" Keira carefully asked. It was as if she was afraid I would run away or blow up if she accidentally said the wrong thing. I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "it's happened before". Georgia jumped at the chance to speak when I finished talking , "you tried to...you know... before?". I rolled my eyes at her, "Georgia you can say the words. Yes I did try to commit suicide before, but that was in the past and we're not going to talk about it". Lucy flinched at my sentence and pulled me into a side hug, pressing her lips to the top of my head lightly.

I broke the awkward silence, "look, I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed". Lucy nodded her head and smiled lightly, "I think that's a good idea, you've got a big day tomorrow". I sighed, remembering what they had told me as we were leaving the hospital. Ella and Alessia had organised a BBQ at our house. By the time an unsuspecting Lucy found out, they had already invited pretty much everyone they knew. I could tell from Lucy's facial expression when she told me that she wasn't too happy about it but couldn't bring herself to say no to Ella and Alessia's excited faces. To be honest, I wasn't too happy about it myself. There was too much going on in my brain to have happy and light hearted conversations with a ridiculous amount of people in my back garden. I joked, "I'm praying it rains tomorrow". Lucy smirked, "same". Keira and Georgia looked at us with half-shocked faces as Keira exclaimed, "come on...it'll be fun". I rolled my eyes and answered, "not when you've just come out of hospital".

After Georgia and Keira had attempted to persuade us that tomorrow would be fun and a good thing to do, I finally began to walk down the hall towards the stairs. Lucy's concerned voice halted my movement, "Rosie?! Have you taken your medication?". I told her I had and began to walk up the stairs when she spoke again, "are you going to be okay? You can sleep in our bed if you want". I nodded my head back to her but Keira now started to talk, "you can wake us up if you need to during the night. It doesn't matter what the time is". I muttered a thanks and finally began to climb the staircase.

I appreciated that they cared about me, but I didn't want everyone feeling sorry for me and treating me like I'm some lost puppy. I just want things to go back to normal - but I knew that it wasn't going to happen any time soon. For myself, it was easier to accept what had happened because I had been in that situation before, but it was a lot worse. With no support from family or friends, I was in probably the darkest place I've ever been in my life. Obviously I don't expect Lucy and Keira to move on just as quickly as me, because they are my family. Well not Keira biologically, but but I still love her like I love Lucy.

Before everything happened, I truly believed that Lucy only brought me down to Manchester because she felt bad for me. And I was fine with that - at least I wasn't still living with Gary and Chantelle. The time I spent in hospital made me realise that she isn't caring for me because she feels obliged to, she's doing it because she wants to. All those sleepless nights that her and Keira spent in the hospital making sure I didn't try to harm myself again. The endless times she told me she loved me and was always there for me. When I was physically and mentally at the worst she had ever seen me, throwing up my stomach contents while having a panic attack, she never once left my side. I guess that sort of flicked a switch in my head that she wants me in her life no matter the tough times that come with the responsibility of being my mum. It made me compare this hospital visit to the last one.

"You stupid girl, how could you do this to us?!" My dad shouted at me from the foot of me bed. I had just tried to commit suicide and here he was shouting as if I had done it on purpose to get attention or something. A silent tear streamed down my face, but was quickly slapped away by my mum, "pull yourself together and get a grip you ugly cow". I bit my lip and looked down at the white hospital bed sheets. Why didn't it work? Why couldn't I have escaped my awful, hellish life? The deadly silence was broken by a nurse coming in and saying gently, "we're going to need you to stay in hospital for a few days while we monitor you if that's okay?". My dad spoke up, furious, "no that is not okay! You listen here, I am discharging her from this stupid place immediately". The nurse tried to make him understand but he was having none of it, "hey you! Get your shit together, we're leaving".