mistakes

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We met when I bumped into you on the corner of my favourite cafe, in the middle of a rainstorm. That should have been the first sign. Rainstorms never ended well. Life was not like the books or movies. Hopeless romantic. Then that was it. But that was the first time we met. 

We met again, shortly after, at a party. Hosted by none other than Tony Stark. Of course it was Tony, it always had to be him. I remember him introducing us.

"Natasha, have you met Steve? We're high school friends." Tony says, dragging you right in front of me. 

"Tony, you don't have to try to set me up with every girl you know. I will sate eventually-" And you stop mid sentence and turn and look at me. 

It's like you've seen me before but can't put a finger on it. I know immediately. The cafe. 

"Hi,"  You say to me this time. You stick out your hand like any polite person would do. "Rogers, Steven Rogers." You say a little formally but it makes an impression. 

"Romanoff, Natasha Romanoff." I taunt back with a teasing smirk. 

You smile. It's like I've amused you or something. I probably did at the time. 

Tony looks between the two of us. "You guys know each other?"

"We've met before," You say with a smirk. 

I laugh and shake my head as Tony's eyes go wide. "Red is there anyone you don't know at all?"

"I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, I know everyone Stark. And no, we bumped into each other outside a coffee shop." My favourite coffee shop in fact, but Stark doesn't need to know that. 

He knows anyways. "Let me guess, Luna's?" Not a hard one but, yes. 

"That's my favourite coffee joint!" You exclaim. Oh goody, something we both have in common. 

And with that new information, we don't try to avoid Luna's at all cost. In fact, I see you again a week after the party, at Luna's as I am ordering my Latte. You order an Americano.  The barista knows your order, it seems you come here as often as I do. She winks at you as she scribbles your name on the cup with a love heart. I don't even know you, but I feel a pang of jealousy. 

You offer to buy me a pastry and sit down for a coffee and small talk. I hate small talk, so I tell you I'm pressed for time. I'm not. I'm free all day. I just don't want to spend it with you. That should have been the first sign of defiance, like something within me knew it coming. 

That one incident should have stopped you from trying, but it turns out you're as stubborn as I am. You try again and again. Until you finally don't, because I said yes. We order a slice of key lime pie and share it between the two of us. It's a good key lime, my favourite. Luna's makes a good key lime. I think they still do, but I haven't tried it since then. 

You walk me home to my front door and I bid you goodbye. We stand there for a while before I leave a bold lingering kiss on your cheek, closing the door behind. That was the beginning of it all. 

The next time we meet you bring me flowers. Roses. White roses. My favourite. Clearly, you've talked to Tony. You being me a lot of roses during our time together. More than a hundred, not that I'm counting. I did count. It was a hundred and forty eight. The three numbers added up to thirteen. It was cursed from the very beginning. 

You took me to the museum that day. Our first date. The Museum of Natural History. Thank god I hate that museum, I'm never going back. But I smile and say I enjoyed myself. Because I did. I enjoyed myself because I had you for company, not for the museum. 

You walked me home after a candlelit dinner. It's sweet, romantic and everything in between. It's us. 

You send flowers to my work in the days that follow. It seems that you're as busy as I am. That's a good thing. That way, when we both don't make time we would be more understanding. 

Tony tells me you have a temper, but I think you're sweet. I should have listened to Tony, for once in my life. But I didn't. I smiled when you yelled at a waiter for being rude to me. I smiled when you nearly punched the other guy who hit on me. Now I realise it wasn't as sweet as I thought it was, but rather the first sign of the breaking. 

He never physically hit me, but rather, taunted me through various forms of gaslighting. Mistakes were made. By me. By us. This all felt wrong. I should've known. I should have seen the signs. We knew it was never meant to be, but we tried, breaking hearts and tearing each other apart, chipping away piece by piece. Hurt me, leave me, over and over again. Not like I was any better. We were bad for each other, we always knew that from the very start. But we refused to accept fate. Stubbornness. A trait we both shared, perhaps the one thing we had in common. The way we refused to admit that falling in love with the other way the biggest mistake ever. It was the biggest one I've ever made.

We broke up after the one summer, going our separate ways. I never went back to Luna's. I suspect he didn't either. I avoided museums at all costs and avoided him at all costs. 

Tony didn't bother to mediate us. He knew how bad the break up was. He was after all, the root cause of all of that. Maybe Steve had threatened him like he had threatened me so many times.

But  when he didn't call, that was the last straw. That was it. 

And that was the end of our love story.  But that was the end of the curse. Our tragic love, in shades of grey, was neither black nor white. And I should have been the wiser from the very beginning. 

A/N: hello hello did anyone miss me? i finally wrote again le gasp wha?- okay i have been writing just not good enough for wattpad standard like drabbles and poems and of course love and war which i have decidedly decided to change the title of so now it has been saved as untitled novel, how original of me. so yeah i wrote this over the span of like a month because i couldn't find an ending for it but when i finally did it was tragic and i was contemplating posting it and breaking hearts and i thought, you know what, fuck this, tragedy 101 here we go again. you're welcome. sending all my love. vote, comment and share. ;) watch me disappear off the internet until like weeks later so that's fun. yay. 


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