˗ˏˋ romanogers oneshots ˎˊ˗

*:･ﾟ✧ till the very end

Steve had gone on a suicide mission which had turned the wrong direction and gone wrong. He came home safe and sound, but he was never the same. He wasn't as strong, he was weak. Not emotionally, physically. They had done something to the serum but the doctors couldn't figure out the cause. Not yet. He had only been home for a day and was immediately whisked to do a million and one tests. The doctors had not gotten back to them with the results yet. 

Natasha paced up and down the hospital room, biting her lip. She looked at Steve lying weakly in the hospital bed and her heart broke further. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She had never seen Steve like this. He was always strong. Emotionally anyways. He always put up a strong barrier that separated work and personal life. He never once let any one of the Avengers see through his pain. But Natasha knew. She knew because she hurt inside too. And sometimes they stayed up late just lying in each other's embrace,  their pains tangled up in a twisted mess that brought some sort of comfort to both. 

Natasha let out a sigh as she slumped down on the chair, exhausted. Lately she had been all sorts of exhausted, tired, nauseous and uncomfortable. Then the pieces clicked and she stood up quickly, putting her hand to her mouth as she felt a wave of nausea. A quick dash to the bathroom and she was just in time before she retched into the toilet bowl. The remains of her lunch, no breakfast ? from the previous day were all spilt out. She tried to recall the last time she had a proper meal. Before Steve left for the mission? A week ago. After the night he left she could barely keep anything down. At first she thought maybe she just missed Steve too much and made stuff up inside her head. But now it all made sense. The nausea every waking hour of the day, the fatigue and tiredness after training, the loss of appetite, the craving for peanut butter, the snappiness and attitude she recently had, the fluctuating weight, the disturbed sleep pattern, not that it wasn't disturbed before. But was it possible? They had sterilized her in the Red Room. Super Soldier Serum. Super Soldier Semen. She smiled and her hand subconsciously flew to her abdomen. 

The beeping of the machine distracted Natasha from her thoughts and she slowly stood up, careful not to make herself dizzy or feel the urge to throw up again. Steve was awake, lying on the bed with his eyes open. Natasha took his hand in hers and gave it three little squeezes, their code for 'I love you' whenever they were on missions. 

"Hey," Steve whispers, barely audible. Natasha gives him a small smile, her eyes brimming with tears. She kisses him on the forehead and inhales his scent. Despite being in the hospital and away, he still smells like himself. He still smells like hers. He still smells like home. Steve reaches a shaky hand up to cup Natasha's face and wipes away a falling tear. "Tasha," he says, his gaze focused on her face. Natasha looks down and her green eyes meet his blue orbs. "Is everything okay?" he manages, before erupting into a coughing fit. Natasha shakes her head as she hands him a glass of water with a straw. 

"Something happened with the serum. You're dying," Natasha sobs, burying her face in Steve's shoulder, something she had always done whenever she felt scared. She was scared. She wasn't ready to lose Steve. Not yet. There were so many things she had yet to tell him or do with him. She wanted to tell him about the baby, she wanted to raise the child with him, she wanted to grow old with him, she wanted him to kiss her nightmares away, she wanted him. 

"Tasha, I will always be with you, till the very end. I love you." Steve whispers, before his breathing slows and stops. 

"I love you too, till the very end." Natasha says, as the monitor beeps. The beeps are drowned out by her sobs. 

The doctor rushes into the room and sees Natasha crying her heart out on Steve's lifeless body. 

"You can't go, Steve. I need you." Natasha cries, her body shaking with sobs. 

Bucky and Sam rush into the room and realize what has happened. Sam stands in the corner and starts to pray. Bucky rushes to Natasha's side and holds her. "He wouldn't want to see you like this. You have to pull yourself together. For you, for him and for the baby."

"You know?" Natasha whispers as she leans into Bucky and sobs. "I don't know how to go on without him. He's my pillar of strength, he's my light. I can't go back to the darkness, not again, James." She says in Russian this time. 

"You won't. We'll be there to pull you out. We'll be here for you." Bucky whispers back in Russian as Natasha collapses from exhaustion in his arms. 

A/N: i swear i did not intend for this to be that sad but i did so- i also cried writing this. anyways enjoy lol.