believe - some bible facts

Forgiveness

Okay so I know that this doesn't have to do with science much, but there's something about forgiveness that actually affects us all mentally and physically. I thought this should be an important thing to mention here in this book.

Forgiveness (according to the Bible) is correctly understood as God's promise not to count our sins against us, meaning to choose not to punish us for the wrongs we've committed. The Bible also says that God is the God of grace and mercy.

Deuteronomy 4:31; For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon nor destroy you nor forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath (NIV)

Biblical forgiveness for a believer requires repentance, which is turning away from our old life of sin and faith in Jesus Christ. We all know the opposite of forgiveness is being mercilessness, meaning to bring punishment on the wrong doer. So when you hold grudges, it counts as holding unforgiveness towards someone, hating them for what they've done to you. We all have been hurt by a particular group or someone in our lives, and holding grudges of any kind can damage relationships. It also affects the hated if we choose to never forgive them.

Well to me, my family is very important, including others that I care about, and if anyone ever tries to hurt them, I will never forgive them

That's why forgiveness exists. Of course, for there to be forgiveness, there must be pain. That's the way it works. Other wise, what is forgiveness without pain first? That's like a miracle without a problem. What is a miracle if there is no problem first?

Some say forgiving is a weakness, when it's the total opposite. Forgiveness is very strong because it's a sign of maturing and moving on. It's about growing and finally letting go of that baggage, freeing yourself from that nasty feeling. It's like a poison that messes you up without knowing it. This is because forgiveness requires love, the bible explains how sinners love those who would only love them back. Real and perfect love is when you love those who are going to hate you and mistreat you, even those whom you care about.

Long ago, I did something wrong to a friend, and I regretted it. So I decide to own up to my mistakes and went to apologize to save our friendship, and when I did, my friend didn't forgave me, and because of that, I held on to that guilt for a long time, and it affected me, changing the way I thought of myself... I told my grandma about it and she told me something I would never forget, "you apologized. That's all that matters. If they don't want to forgive, that's on themselves"

That's when I learned that apologizing to someone you have hurt means to accept when they're never going to forgive you, but that doesn't mean do the same back. Love those who holds grudges against you and hates you, because God knows the ways of the wicked and the righteous, and loves the humble in heart. Because of the words of my grandmother, I learned that I don't have to forgive myself since God's standard is higher than mine, and that I don't have to hold on to that guilt bitterness anymore.

Okay but God would understand why I wouldn't forgive someone who have hurt me so deeply like your friend

But we have all offended God. We have hurt his only son because of our sins... let me share a parable with you that Jesus have shared when one of his disciples asked how many times they should forgive a brother.

The Parable of the unforgiving servant
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Matthew 18:21-35; Then Peter came to Him and said; "Lord how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him "I do not say to you 'up to seven times' but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him saying 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all'. Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave his debt"
"But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred dinari; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying 'pay me what you owe!' So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all' And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what he had done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him"
"So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses" (NKJV)