𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ✧ 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐫

18

꧁𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚꧂

As I sit I'm my cell I sound out Peeta and Johanna as they try to help me, but all I can do is get stuck in my thoughts. My thoughts that tell me everything that happened is my fault.

How Ashley is being tortured, how Finnick might not be alive right now, how Finnick is feeling right now, how every other family member is dead because of me, the sight of dads body, the sight of mum hanging there, the sight of my knife piercing right through Marcus's abdomen.

All these thoughts plague my mind like a disease, I can't get rid of them and at this point I looked like I was going mad. No doubt I was.
I wish I could get rid of the thoughts, that they'd leave me alone, that everything would go back to normal. Just like it was before my games.

I wake up from the nightmares, screaming as I do. Peeta is right at the bars trying to ask if I'm ok, I ignore him as much as I can kind of like what Johanna does but I give in and crawl over. "Are you okay? It's okay to speak to me you know," I simply just nod at his gesture of kindness.
"Katniss would always get nightmares, I'd check on her and lay with her." He looks to the ground remembering the old memories, the good ones.

Peeta is being poisoned by tracker-jacker venom making him think, differently. He's starting to see Katniss as a threat more than a fiancé to him. Me and Johanna do our best to help him through it but lately it's been getting harder for all of us.

"Why not you tell me some things you remember. The good things," I hope this helps as it's the last thing I can think of to help him.

"My favourite colour is orange, Katniss's was green." He smiles shortly as he thinks of this moment,
"Me and Katniss went to the rooftop before the games, I bake and help decorate the cakes, Katniss kissing me in the cave, my favourite food is stew, the meadows just outside victors village." He gets stuck, but I understand him.

"How about we shorten that to, orange, green, rooftop, bakery, cakes, cave, stew, the meadows." His smile widens and so does mine.

"What about you? Let's do the same," he gestures for me to begin and so I do.

"Annie, my best friend who gave me a shell bracelet, Marcus and I would go to the beach some nights and chase each other up the sand, stargazing with Finnick, Finnick and me always eating sugar-cubes, the rosemary I would braid into some sort of tiara for Ashley, my favourite colour was blue like the sea, Finnicks favourite colour was gold."
That was seven to match up with Peeta,
"so that would turn into Annie, shell bracelet, sand, stargazing, sugar-cubes, rosemary, blue and gold."

Our smiles seem to make us forget where we were and what was going on around us, all until the lights blasted on. Peacekeepers quickly dragged me away but even as I kicked and screamed at them they didn't let go of me, they didn't even look at me.

I'm strapped into the same wooden chair as before, then the doctor returns. "So, here's the deal," the man begins as he struts up to me.
"You tell us how much you know on the rebellion and we don't hurt you. If you don't, well I guess you'll find out." Of course this is happening, I don't know one thing about it. None of us here do.

"I really don't know anything I promise-" before I can even finish my sentence the shoulder of my shirt is pulled down and throbbing heat of the metal burns my shoulder.
Quick gasps and shrieks of pain escape my mouth as I try to hold them back, grinding down on my teeth.

"I will ask you once more," the metal rod was removed from my shoulder blade, the pain was overwhelming and sharp against my skin.
"How much do you know about the rebellion?" The tears blur my sight but I can tell he's walking forward, there was something in his hand.

"They didn't tell me anything, really" my plead makes the tears fall and this time I'm smacked across the face. The pain is quick and stings a little from the force but I try not to make a scene.

"Take her back, bring Peeta!" The man announces before I'm unstrapped and taken back to my cell in exchange for Peeta.

It must been weeks that had passed. Over this time Johanna stop talking unless need to, Ashley was placed into the cell across from me so I could watch her suffer, every now and then suicidal thoughts flood my mind, I could only repeat the same 2 phrases me and Peeta tell each other in an attempt to keep us sane or I'm screaming and crying.

Ashley's cell wasn't like ours, it was all glass so I could hear and see what happened, it still had the same tiles on the back wall and floor. She wasn't allowed to speak or anything to do with me.

We weren't allowed to share food but I still had a larger portion than them, I feel like Johanna was starting to hate me for it.
One night I sit staring at the hall when some type of gas is released. I don't bother trying to fight it before my vision starts to blur and then it was just dark.