𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 ✧ 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐎𝐝𝐚𝐢𝐫

21

꧁𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙜𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙣꧂

As time went on Coin allowed me and Finnick to have our own room, or more it was a little bit of a birthday present. But Finnick was always out he wouldn't tell me but I can tell he's going to training, everyone seems to go at the same time. Johanna. Katniss and Ashley share a room now, it's right across from Katniss's family.

Peeta has gotten much better by now and is even allowed to sit with us at lunch, as long as we let him and there's always guards.

I still have nightmares quite regularly, most of them are about the capitol. When I do I find myself repeating the same two phrases me and Peeta made, I know it scares Finnick sometimes but he try's to help as much as he can.

Most things feel more normal now than they did before, I'm great full for what people do to help me and how welcoming they are. At some points I'm still a bit nervous to go out of my room but there's always someone to help.

Today I wake up to someone, more like Finnick but he wasn't next to me. I silently scanned the room to see him at the desk near the door. He was hunched over the table with his head in hands, his sobs were muffled and I couldn't leave him like this.
Too many times has he suffered alone and no one comforted him, too many times I didn't know what to say, too many times was his trauma overlooked.

I make my way over and pull a chair next to him, I placed my hand on his shoulder and when he looked up he couldn't speak instead a faint whisper came out.
"I'm so sorry Blair, you know I am," I pull him into the tightest hug than ever. What does he mean, he done nothing wrong.

"It's okay, there's nothing to be sorry about." We stay silent for a few minutes tangled in each other's grip.

He pulls back and looks up, his sea-foam green eyes meet mine. Dried up tears marked his face as his bloodshot eyes try to stop more from falling.
He breaks eye contact and his hands fumble for mine, I look down and can hardly make out something stamped on the back. Maybe it's a number, maybe it's from training, either way it's not important or he'd have told me.

"What happened?" I blurt out, "there is a reason you're crying, why is that?"

His eyes fill of guilt as they look up at mine, and a fake half smile pulls at his lips. "Don't worry about me love, I'll just be away for a little bit. I promise you I'll be back before you know it." He takes a moment before slapping his thigh lightly and gets up, "you should sleep in but I've got to get going. Love you," he quickly plants a kiss on my forehead and leaves me in the room.

Once again I find myself alone, stuck with only my thoughts. I get up and grab some shoes and a coat before running out the door to find where Finnick is going.
I tumble through the hallways walking at a quick speed to stop at a corner. I peak my head around to see he's at a door, Katniss answers and let's him in. A few minutes later him and Katniss leave heading the other direction.

Ashley must still be in there since she didn't leave with them. I head to the door and stop Ashley in her tracks, her face instantly dropped when she saw me.
"Hi, I'm sorry but I really need to go Blair," she tried to brush past me with no eye contact.

I grab her wrist making her turn back, "What's the rush, where are you going?"

"I'm going to the Capitol, I'm going to fight," I drop her wrist. She was leaving without saying goodbye, is this where Finnick is going?

She could instantly tell what I was thinking, "I couldn't say goodbye, I couldn't find a time. I knew you'd be upset,"

I quickly cut her off, "upset? I just got you back you can't leave me now," I pause and think.
"Is this where Finnick is going?" Her eyes fall and she backs away.

"I'm sorry, I need to go," she briefly hugs me before running after the others.

I'm left in the same spot, I just want to fall to the floor, cry, scream or do something but I can't. As my vision blurs I feel a pair of hands on me, they were holding me up.

"Blair, why don't we go sit down," Ferguson came from behind turning me and heading towards his compartment.

Ferguson sits me down on a seat then crouches before me, "you'll be fine, they'll be fine. It won't be long, soon we'll all be back together okay?" His words sounded muffled in the back of my head as the memories in the Capitol flood back. Finnick and Ashley could be taken, maybe tortured at worse killed.

I'm brought back to reality when Ferguson shakes my shoulder, "why not we go eat, sound good enough?"

Still no words leave my mouth so I not lightly, "maybe you should get an actual outfit on first. I'll meet you at the table though," he gestures to my outfit then leaves.

It takes a minute for me to leave but I go back to my compartment and change before heading down to the food hall.
When I get there I'm given some porridge like substance and find Ferguson at the table. I'm never actually sure what food I'm given but I still eat it as it's all I can get.

There's an awkward silence between the two of us as Ferguson try's to start up some type of conversation.
"Today you could go visit Johanna, or maybe you'll be allowed to see Peeta." His words are dry and I can feel he doesn't know how to comfort me, in all honesty he never did but I felt safe with my uncles.