Heathens & Hand Grenades (Book 1 of the Heathens Duet)

Chapter 31- Callie

Author Note: TW for DV/SA. 

This isn't how this was supposed to go. Any of it. Rave's fists hammering down on Jaxson sound so familiar to me. Between the sounds of the fight and the lingering ache of Jaxson's hands on my skin, I'm stuck in a memory of different fists, a different fight. Long gone is the bunker. It's a truck by the lake.

My shoes are covered in mud as I attempt to clean myself with my white knight's towel. Smiling from his kind words, I don't even see Colt's hand before it comes sailing at my stomach. My eyes well up before the pain hits me and the breath flees from my lungs. I choke as I attempt to breath through the pain. My stomach curls in and I wrap my arms around myself in a useless attempt to protect myself. It's amazing how much damage the human body can take and how much skin is hidden beneath our clothes.

"Do you have any idea how foolish you made me look, Doll?" He sneers. "Be glad they already graduated. Practice would've been miserable if I had to deal with a lecture along with it. Bad enough you made me look like a bad boyfriend," he says, his fists tightening as he grits his teeth.

His short nails dig into my skin, leaving tiny half-moon indents as he grips my chin, spit falling on his bottom lip as he speaks. "Did you get wet for him Calista? Liked the way he talked to you, some knight in shining armor, ready to save the day?"

"No Colt. I promise I wasn't even looking at him," I stammer, even though I know he's deaf to my pleas. I brace myself for the hit this time. My eyes roll in my head and copper floods my mouth as I bite my cheek at the smack of his palm against my face. Open handed to leave no marks. He's learned. I hold in the gasp. I don't want him to know how much this hurts. Something has to stay mine.

I close my eyes as his hand slides under my pretty yellow sundress, between my thighs and up until his fingers scrape against my flimsy cotton underwear.

Deep breaths. Think of anything but this.

"Open your eyes Doll," he commands as his one hand becomes two. Two strong hands against my soft, trembling thighs.

It's possible to dream with your eyes open. Transported away on only your imagination.

I hate the color yellow. Such a joyful color. Such a lie.

"Come on Callie Girl," D whispers his gentle hands pulling me from a dark, twisted memory.

All of this could have been different if I had just taken a shower. Well, maybe not all of it. Jaxson would still have bruised face and clothes can only hide so much. We were kind of rough with each other. But at least the damage would've been hidden until we could explain.

I'm still not exactly sure what we would be explaining. A one-time thing? Details were unclear. The guys are fighting and everything has changed. I don't even want to look at them, uncertain of what I'll find in their eyes. Disgust, disappointment, betrayal, all strong contenders. Not looking leaves with me all and none of the answers. Schrödinger's reaction.

Either way, I still need to clear up some things. It's not Jaxson's fault, at least not completely. My appearance, yes, but my reactions are all my own. He doesn't deserve Rave's fist in his face, much as I appreciate the sentiment. Perhaps I made my judgments against him too quickly.

"Don't let Rave hurt him. It's not-" I stutter out, taking a deep breath and swallowing before trying again. "It's not what it looks like."

Not the best way to put it since it kind of is what it looks like, at least until it wasn't. I'm sure I could have described it better had I taken that shower and relaxed myself. Clean body, clear thoughts and all that.