Pleasure me, Prof. (Professor Series #1)

19

Her Point Of View.

"We'll talk later."

I told to Fury as I passed him and left him with Goldwin. When I stepped in the car I released a deep long breath as the water began to fell from my eyes.

Kusa lang 'yong kumawala sa mga mata ko, para silang may sariling isip na sa tuwing pumapasok sa isip ko lahat ng nalaman ko ay sila na ang kumakawala sa mga mata ko upang kahit papaano ay pagaanin ang loob ko.

I don't think it's because of tears of joy? Knowing all of that from the man I hated the most for almost four years, I felt guilty!

I cursed him, I hated him, I tried to forget him, to unlove him! I should've give him a chance to explain his side back then but I didn't.. I didn't let him to.

I harshly rubbed my face using my both hands in frustration. I'm in the shotgun seat of Fury's car, crying again.

Relief.

Shock.

And Guilt.

Words that can describe what I'm exactly feeling right now.  Relief, because I already know what was really happend in the past for years. Shock, because I lived for four years thinking that Goldwin had done something dreadful things to me, that he had hurt me. But he didn't really do anything wrong. He was one of the reasons I fell, but he was also the reason I got up. Guilt, because I accused him even though I had no proof of what really happened.

'Yung pag-iwas sa akin noon ni Goldwin, he purposely did that for my safety. He didn't had a chance to answer my calls because he lost it back there. He was not the one with Sydney's in her ig story. 'Yung sa pagpapagamot ko, pag-aaral, my financial needs. he provided it all. 'Yung pagkikita namin ni Miss Farrah, it wasn't an accident! It was all because of him! Because of Goldwin.

I was wrong.

Again.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong hininga ska pinahid ang luha sa pisngi ko. Starting to question myself, what if I had listened to him before? What if I let him to explain and defend himself? Mababago kaya ang lahat?

I shook my head, no. Wala ng magbabago. Nangyari na. Parehas kaming dumanas ng pagsubok noon, ang pinagkaiba lang, ako marami ang taong nakagabay sa akin, maraming nasa tabi ko. Pero sya, wala. He endured all the trials for me, for us. While I was away,  hating him.

Gusto kong ibalik 'yong oras na 'yon, gusto kong itama 'yong mga ginawa ko, 'yong mga inakusa ko sa kanya, gusto ko syang damayan no'ng mawala ang Daddy nya. Pero hindi na pwede.

Everything happens for a reason.

Itinadhanang mangyari 'yon sa amin para masubok kaming dalawa, para matuto kami. Matutong magmahal, masaktan, magkamali, magparaya at magpatawad.

I sighed heavily when I Fury finally stepped in the car. I didn't gave him even a single glance, my eyes were just stared by the absence.

A couple of silence filled between us before he speaks. "Maiintindihan ko kung magagalit ka sa 'kin dahil hindi ko sinabi sayo," He began with a rattle voice.

"Pero Madi, gusto ko lang malaman mo na ginawa ko 'yon hindi para sa kahilingan ni Goldwin. Tinulungan kita dahil sa gusto ko, dahil kaibigan kita at mahalaga ka sa 'kin. Kahit hindi nya hilingin na huwag kong sabihin sayo, hindi ko parin sasabihin dahil wala akong karapatan do'n, sya lang ang may karapatan na sabihin 'yon sayo. Besides, alam kong may dahilan sya. Kahit hindi nya hilingin na ako 'yong maging partner mo, gagawin ko parin 'yon. 'Yong sa pera, I was willing to give how much money for you If you need to. Kahit wala si Goldwin, tutulungan parin kita.. Kaya sana huwag mong isipin na ginawa ko lang lahat nang 'yon dahil sa hiling nya." Mahaba nyang paliwanag. "I owe you an apology." He added.