Never Expected You

Chapter Ten (Amera)

It has been two months since the night at the club,and to say thing has be complicated,is so true.The Monday after I broke down at the club,Mason and Samantha were very concerned about me,and they have become very good friends to me ,I explained about my anxiety to them,they ask why I didn't tell them,but how could I say I was ashamed of it.

Mr Hawke was very angry with Mason, and even blow him up for taking me to the club,I had to come between them or they would have come to blows,it was a tense situation there at the time,but things have cool down since then.

But thing with Mr Hawke and I are a different story,it's so complicated and confusing, since that night, I can't help but remember how he took care of me and how he held me in his arms, it was like i was made to be in his arms, i have never felt so secure before.

He is so different with me,the way he smile at me like I am his whole world,the little touches when were are around each other,he will caressed my face,pass his hand lightly in my hand while we are talking, rest his hand in my lower back if we are walking or taking me home,all these little things is making me fall for him,I don't know when it happens but I am are sure that I am falling inlove with him,a man who is my boss,married and have kids.

How did I get myself here,had it not been for krish, my husband being back home,knowing if I went back there he will kill me,I would have gone back because I'm not that woman to break up a marriage, to come between a husband and wife to destroy a family.

He haven't mention anything that have happen that night, and neither have i,we also hasn't been back to his house, which I'm glad,because I don't know if I can go to someone home knowing I have feelings for their husband. Layla has been here a couple of time and everything I seen her or them together I felt like my heart is shattering into a million pieces, and I'm the wrong  one here because I have no right over him or to even feel that way about him.

There was once this woman who fell inlove with a married man,when ask if they ever had an affair?, she said no,when ask if she was inlove with him ?.she say yes, her loving him doesn't mean he has to love her or be with her,Maybe it can be like that with us,he can never be with me but I could still love him,he will never be mine but he can still be my life.

I'm are pondering all these thoughts as I look at the city,it's the first night in three months I have gotten the opportunity to see it,I didn't want to inconvenience anyone by asking them to stay late ,so I can have a look at it,but tonight I got some documents to look over with  Mr Hawke so I'm having a look, as I wait for him to finish his meeting.

It's so beautiful, I can imagine a scene in a Indian movie were the hero brings the heroine up here to see the light making it romantic by standing behind the heroine wrapping his hand around her waist   and lightly passing his lips on her neck, that would be very romantic, I can be the actress and the actor can be my husband crush Arjun Rampal , yes I have a big husband crush on him ."well all in my fantasy" I say as I giggles.

"What's so funny?" Mr Hawke say as I see him standing at the glass door leading to the outside ,"just thinking about my husband crush Arjun Rampal."

He watches me wired  then look out at the city as he say" you have a crush on a guy ."

"Yes in my head I'm married to him we have two kids and lives in a nice neighborhood with a house and white picket fence."

"Does he know how you feel about him." He say as he grind his teeth like he is keeping himself for doing something he will regret.

"It's kind of hard to tell him seeing as he is an Bollywood actor and all ." I say to him as I bust out laughing.

"What?"

"You should see your face right know." I say as I continue to laugh. He lunges me pulling me to his chest as my face comes inches from him I stop laughing, and start breathing hard.

"Amera don't ever tease me like that again,you don't know what I'm capable of " he say as he bring my body flush to his looking into my eyes,taking the breath away from me, he takes his hand and moves the hair from my face,so so gently passing feather like touch with his thumb finger,drawing a line from my eyes to my lip passing it in my top lip and as he stop with his finger on my lip he whisper .

"What are you doing to me baby."  As my body is trembling from his touch it's the first time he has ever been so intimate with me. Bringing his lip to my ears he whisper. "Amera tell me to stop,before we make the biggest mistake in our lives.

So lost in his hold and these feelings I'm having I don't realise what he's saying until he hold me tighter in his arms bringing his lip to mine.

" Layla"

As her name leaves my mouth like a bucket of ice cold water he let go off me ,turning and breathing hard, looking out of the city "I love Layla I haven't stop loving her, but I'm breaking her heart because I think I'm inlove with you to."

"Mr Hawke."

"Don't you think we are pass the Mr Hawke? Call me Drew."

"I don't think it's professional to call you dr."

"We have long pass the professional stage Amera." He say as he stop me from talking and turn to watch me.

"I don't know what to do or say, I'm not that person to come between a marriage, I don't want to be that woman, who everyone will look at and say she's a home wrecker, she destroy their marriage, she took her husband away from her."

"Amera I never want someone to say or think that about you."

"Yes but the woman always get the blame when a husband cheat."

"Yes I know, I don't want to destroy my family, I never in my life ever imagined that I will ever fall for another woman,my family they means the world to me,without them I won't be able to get through my life, and they will never forgive me for something like that."

Hearing him talk about his family, it's makes my heart pain knowing that they are his life,and I will never be that important to him, but it also makes realise what we must do,"I think I should go back to Trinidad."

"No that's out of the question." He say as he look to me.

"Could you see yourself without layla?  could you see yourself not being married to layla? could you see yourself with anyone other than layla?"

"Of course not Layla is my life." Him saying  that just gutted me because he has feelings for me but it's nothing compared to his love for his wife,I turn looking at the city, so he doesn't see the tears in my eyes, " Then I need to leave here."

"No you are not going back, we will figure something else out."

"Then we just need to stay away from each other and only interact concerning work."

"Amera do you think that will work ?"

"If you want to keep your family that has to work, it's the best for both of us."

"Amera."

"Please Drew don't say anything else this is so hard for me as it is, lets just leave it at that."

"I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you,I wanted to take away your pain,but here I'm bringing more pain to you." He says as he walk to me and holds my arms dipping his head to my head and touching me.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, and if I were to be in pain I brought it to myself, because I fell for you knowing I won't be able to have you."

"Maybe in our next life we will be together, we were never meant to be, we were never written in the stars ,or our destiny to be in this life.

" Maybe you are right Amera,he say as he turn and head to the door, as he reach the door he stop,with his back to me he says,"Amera remember this for me,part of my heart will always belong to you and if there's a god and I reach there first, I will ask him for you to be mine in my next life and any life that follow after." He says as he walk out the door taking my heart with him.