Five Years Ago...
September 2013Haku, age 12
Sen, age 16•
That morning was particularly red. Painted red wood exterior of the building, red chopsticks alongside the morning rice bowl, red sandals, and red flowers that had already begun to wilt in the vase in the hallway. Even the morning sky weeped in red, heavy passing showers watered the roads and the people that passed outside without an umbrella caught in the sudden storm.
If everything was red, then why did I feel nothing but devoid of color. There I sat at the table staring at the rice bowl, a copious mound of grains with a red dried plum in the middle staring me in the face, glaring— screaming aggressively.
"Haku?"
At his voice I immediately looked up— Sen. He was already dressed in his uniform for school and I was still in my pajamas staring at a rice bowl. Sen adjusted the last button of his shirt then gave me another confused glance, "Haku, the rice isn't going to yell at you. Hurry up and eat it. You didn't even brush your hair again. Hold on."
Sen quickly glanced around the living room in search of something he kept at hand for mornings like these that happened periodically enough for him to have a need for a spare brush lying in abstract places around the house. Right where it was cast aside last, he picked up the brush and sighed dejectedly as he made his way over to where I sat. Sen took a seat on the couch behind me and picked up a lock of my hair. Mom stopped nagging me to cut it after I entered junior high that had more relaxed dress-code policies compared to primary school. I also stopped caring— only Sen seemed to care about my hair that he brushed with frantic tugs that ripped at my scalp, but I never said anything.
"Niichan."
I only received a mumbled response that he was listening to me while being distracted by my hair. I never took my eyes away from the uneaten rice bowl and red chopsticks, "She starts her new school today."
It was only then did my brother stop. His hands paused and I felt the stands of my hair relax and the ends tickled the back of my neck when it fell back down; he let go. It was only a moment of silence that passed but it felt as vast as the space between a canyon's cliffs. I heard the stiff swish of the uniform fabric before his voice.
"Chihirochan? That's right, she moved away. I hope she's doing well."
"I can't remember her."
"What?"
Not entirely true. I would never forget her completely, but the color of her hair tie that she always wore to tie back her hair— forgotten. The exact way that her cheeks would pull each time she smiled— forgotten. Just how tall she was in comparison to me and how she insistently pestered my brother to measure us against any tree— forgotten. The order in which she would scrub the deck of the bathhouse— forgotten.
"She left two months ago, yet my memories seem to be fading faster as the days go on. I can't remember the smallest details about her anymore. I don't like it— I don't want to forget her... or for her to forget me..."
I wasn't one to hide my tears if I wanted to cry, but sitting there in the hollowed living room with my brother after saying something that had been weighing down my mind since the day she left with her family certainly collected in my chest as my breaths heaved and the colors of the living room began to blur. Not here and not now— I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to forget. Crying would just bring truth to the fact that I lost something and I didn't want my tears to admit my fears for me.
My brother placed a hand on my shoulder that shakily rose with every breath I took, as if to help me steady myself once again.
"Memories are never forgotten, they are just difficult to recall." Sen said gently, reassuringly— that voice of his that always managed to calm me down in my tendency to overthink many things.
I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder, he was smiling. Sen looked me in the eyes, "I think that's the great thing about them. Each day provides small opportunities to remind you of the memories you feel as if you've forgotten. It's a chance to relive them once again. But you have to start the day for that to happen so hurry up and get ready," he removed his hand from my shoulder and his fists grabbed two handfuls of my hair that he pulled to the sides of my head, "or I'll put your hair into pigtails. Hakuchan."
"Shut up!" I snapped, swatting his hands away causing him to laugh. He was mocking her, "Chihiro didn't say my name like that!"
"Kohaku!" Sen cooed as he leapt from the couch, doing a poor— if not the worst impression of her expression and voice.
I got up from the floor and chased him down the hallways of our home, "Senichirou!" I yelled loudly in the early hours of that red morning.
Sen stopped only once he reached my room as he leaned against the doorway with his smug grin that watched me pant from being slightly out of breath. "Your face is all red. How cute." he lifted his hand to pinch my cheek then gave it a playful slap, "Ten minutes. If you're not putting on your shoes in ten minutes I'm leaving without you."
He pushed off from the doorway to let me into my room and disappeared back the way we came storming earlier. Hard to believe he's sixteen when he messes with me like he did when he was nine.
•
Present Time
September 2018Haku, age 17
"Haku?"
At her voice, Haku immediately looked up— Maki. She looked at them from the doorframe of the kitchen and she seemed just about as confused as ever. Before Haku sat a small bowl of rice and beside it was an unused pair of blue chopsticks. She walked over and pulled out a chair opposite of them; the puzzled look never left her face.
Maki pointed to the bowl of rice, "Aren't you going to eat? How long have you been sitting here?"
"Long enough," Haku sighed and pushed the bowl of rice away.
"What were you thinking about?"
"That it was a purple hair tie in her hair."
"What?"
Despite following up with a question, Maki knew from the look on Haku's face that they wouldn't say anything else about the matter. It was a distant look, one that implied they hadn't fully returned from being lost their memories and she would be better off not prying any further. Since Master Tengen's interference, they remembered everything— whether they wanted to or not.
YOU ARE READING
THE WHITE DRAGON┊ jujutsu kaisen
Fanfiction☁︎ ┆ ❝ When I was sad, I said I didn't want to live, but I also didn't want to die. Truthfully, every particle of my being was fighting to find a reason to live; even if it was just for one more day.❞ "Have you found your reason yet?" ☁︎ ┆ "Not qui...