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"Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?"

Onika Pov

I killed someone...Do I feel bad about it? No. I admit that I wanted to throw up at the sight, but I just couldn't feel bad. Of course I want to because that's someone life. Something in me says to let it go, but I keep telling myself not to.

Everyone seemed to praise me about what I did, so that kind of chilled me.

Everything seems back to normal, but I still feel paranoid so I don't leave the house. Papa made me realize everything is fine..but over the phone. How's he gonna say everything is okay when he's not even here to witness the okayness? Momma said she was coming back tomorrow, just her. She claimed that it's because she missed us, but it's obvious that her and Papa got into it. They were being very passive towards each other.

I've also been feeling okay. It's like doing what I did, took away the feelings. I still jump out of my sleep, but I don't know why. There's nothing waking me up, I don't dream of anything. It's weird, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Right now, they're dragging me out the house to the beach. Time to find a cover up that covers me the most. My bruises have went away, but there's still scars. The swimsuit is cute, like really cute. I know Beyonce is gonna talk me into taking my covering off, I already know.

They want me to drive, because they don't want to. I'm always the option when they don't want to do something. It's okay though because I get what I want, when I want it.

"Come on yo! I'm about to pull off on you!" I yelled out the window. Beyoncé was taking forever to grab some slides out of my room. We've been sitting in my truck for 5 minutes now and we should've been gone!

She finally came running out with slides, and Ginger behind her. Ain't this some shit. And then she had the wrong shoes. I rolled my eyes as they both got in. I'm not fucking with this today. "Do those look pink?" I asked eyeing her. She looked at them and shrugged.

"So fuckin- my God." I snatched the shoes and put them on my feet. They were laughing from the back and I glared at them. I don't find nothing funny, i'm pissed. My swimsuit is neon pink, but she brought me neon blue...gon look like a multi colored highlighter. "Sorry. I was-" she said lowly.

I turned up the radio and pulled out of the drive way. It's best that I don't talk to her right now. The fact that she came out of the house with Gi behind her, and they were alone, just doesn't sit right with me. I don't want to assume because I feel like I can trust her. But I said the same thing last time and found out they'd fucked each other. Several times.

The beach was an hour ride and I had to stop for gas. I started to get out but Bey stopped me. "Uhn uhn, stay in. I'll go, look at whatchu got on?" she frowned. I yanked my arm away and got out. There's a covering, so I don't know why she's tripping anyways.

"Ion need you putting the wrong amount in. If youn know your colors you fasho can't count money. Or maybe you just had a distraction." I slammed the door after giving a sarcastic smile. My attitudes last long, so I don't know why people even try. Another door slammed and she came running behind me. I told the man the amount and what pump, and went to pump it. She snatched the thingy and frowned at me. "You know I don't let you pump gas. Getcho mad ass in the car!"

Did she just yell at me? Imma get in the car though, I didn't even want to pump the gas in the first place. "Bro y'all be tripping. Y'all funny as fuck though." Anthony laughed, making everyone else snicker. They're about to get put out my car. "She a fucking dumbass." I mumbled.

"Oh she mad mad. She cursing more than once. You know she pissed." Bryan expressed. I ignored them and typed on my phone. Foot Locker boy was starting to get annoying. What he was doing was sweet, but everyday is weird. The good morning conversations and stuff, I didn't like it. I'm not a morning person, and why are you so nice? Something ain't right.

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