Adrenaline

26 | a mother's daughter

"What do you think?"

I push my glasses further up on my nose and smile. "Beautiful. It looks perfect."

When I return home after lunch, I find Rami video chatting with his sister Rana in the kitchen. They're  going over what to include in the next care package she's getting ready to send us, but as soon as she sees me, she exclaimes she wants to show us a new kaftan she ordered online for a wedding she's going to in a few weeks.

She's a vision of pure starlight draped in a flowy royal blue fabric embroidered with silver beading that catches the light beaming in through her window. Spinning like a ballerina, she gives us the chance to admire the way the color compliments her skin.

"You sure it's not too much?" she asks.

Rami laughs while I roll my eyes. "You're going to a beach wedding in Hawaii. And you're wearing blue. You'll blend right in."

"Okay, okay," she laughs. Rana takes a seat on her bed and angles the screen up. "Thank you for the vote of confidence. How have you been?"

"Riding so fucking high," I let escape without a second thought. "The L debuted at number one."

"Are any of us surprised?" Rana jokes.

"We picked out the next single, too," Rami admits. A smile spreads across his sister's face, but he shuts it down. "Unfortunately, you'll have to wait to find out with everyone else."

"Rami, that's not fair. I'm your sister. I'm supposed to get special privileges."

"Do you want to explain to Marty why I've spilled the secret?" When she doesn't respond, that familiar fear on her face that everyone gets when faced with the realization that standing on opposing sides to Marty is futile, he laughs at her. "Exactly."

Rana crosses her arms. "You could've just kept it a secret then."

"But where's the fun in that?"

"Stevie would tell me."

"Stevie would tell the person checking her out at the grocery store."

"It's true," I agree.

Someone knocks at the door.

Assuming it's either one of the band members who's forgotten their keys, Marty, or Jenny, I bounce over to the front door to let them in.

"What are you doing here?"

My mom stares back at me with all of her dark circles, wildly curly hair, and a beaten-up suitcase she's probably used all of three times in her life since she tends to pack lightly and move quickly, and suddenly I feel the walls caving in.

I can never just enjoy a good thing. There's always some impeding storm waiting for me on the horizon, and hurricane mother has rolled straight into town.

"Surprise!"

Even without looking behind me, I picture the frenzied look on Rami's face, soon to be accompanied by an oh shit. If it were possible to wave my magic wand and make the person in front of me disappear like executives in Hollywood are all so capable of doing, there are few things I wouldn't give up to take it.

"I had vacation days that were going to expire so I thought I'd come out here for a few days." My mother shifts her purse and peeks inside the house. "Where's Uncle?"

"At home. Where you should be."

Coming from a culture that emphasizes the respect one should always have for their elders means the words sputtering out of me burn like fire against my tongue, but it's hard to reconcile an upbringing with the present and how those don't elicit the same reactions.