Adrenaline

31 | it started out with a kiss

"If I tell you something, promise you won't tell anyone else?"

        Jun flashes me a funny look. "Obviously."

        I take a look around the cabin and confirm everyone else is asleep.

        Jun waits.

        "I kissed Brendon."

        His eyes go wide before a smile spreads across his face like he's been told he won a new car. "Really?"

        "No, I was just making it up for laughs."

        He stares.

        "Yes, really," I sigh.

        "When?"

        "When he took me to that lookout during the Windsor after party."

        Jun's eyes bug out. "You waited this long to tell me?"

        "Sorry, I've been a little busy freaking out. I'll pay for expedited shipping next time."

        "Wow," he says. "Took you long enough."

        I slap his chest. "Not helping."

        "I know," Jun replies quickly, rubbing his chest. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you to say that. I know you've been getting closer but I figured you'd hint at something before that happened. Who initiated it?"

        I bite my lip. "I don't know. Him? Maybe? I've thought about it too much that it's kind of all blurred together."

        Jun hums.

        "You're thinking something."

        "Obviously." When he catches my glare, he clicks his tongue. "You're not dropping this on me and expecting me to not have thoughts."

        After debating whether I want to hear any of them, the realization dawns on me that I wouldn't mention the kiss in the first place if his opinion is unwanted.

        "I also kissed Moxie the other night too."

        "Come again?"

        "You heard me."

        "You two were flirty but I didn't expect it to go anywhere."

The real message between the lines: I didn't expect it to go anywhere because you've been Brendon's for a lot longer than you want to admit.

        "It didn't go anywhere. It was just...a moment. But I think we both knew where it was going. Or, rather, not going."

        "As long as things are good between you two," he replies cautiously.

         I nod. "They are."

        "How are you feeling?"

        "Good." I pause. "Confused. I don't know. Nothing seems like a right way to describe how I'm feeling."

        "I don't think there's a right or wrong way." He angles his head, catching my eye. "As long as you don't feel bad, I say that's a good start."

        Playing with a loose thread of my cardigan is as stress-relieving as a fidget spinner. "I don't think anything to do with Brendon can be bad."

        Silence bounces off of us for a few beats before Jun shifts. He places his fingers against the bottom of my chin and forces me to look at him.