Adrenaline

⇢ acknowledgments

Sexy checkmark says hi.

One year, 200k+ words, and approximately one million tears later and we're finally here. This is the fastest I've written a book this big before, especially since the majority of it was written this year, and boy am I feeling a hundred different emotions right now. I'm going to try to sum it up as concisely as possible (she says with a laugh) but feel free to skip to the end if you want some news about what else is on its way. It'll be fun, I promise.

After I'd finished Waves of Us, I genuinely didn't think any book would ever measure up to it. I'd even tweeted about it. I thought "this is it. Nothing else will compare." And then this book came along, and I don't remember the exact moment, but I realized this meant just as much to me for many different reasons. And I gotta say, I'm grateful for that because I felt so empty after finishing that book. Knowing that I'll be able to create that magic again is what's keeping me motivated to continue writing and posting to this site.

There are a lot of things I could say about this book. It's been through the wringer from start to finish. More bad things than I would like for it to be associated with, but I remind myself constantly that it's brought me so much more good that outweighs all of the bad. I'm very proud of myself for even starting it, let alone finishing it. There is so much of my heart in this book, more than I even realized would be.

I'm proud of this story's existence simply because it creates a diverse space in genres that I don't often see a lot of representation in. Not just with the main characters but the side characters as well. I don't write diverse stories for the sake of it or for brownie points. I do it because this is the world I live in, and this is the world we should all do our part to showcase. I wrote this story because I felt like people like me deserved to tell all of our stories and to see them out in the world. If anyone can't respect that, that's their problem. Thankfully, I have a supportive group of friends who will always champion each other's stories and growth.

Stevie Kealoha is my favorite protagonist I've ever written. She's messy and lovable and everything I want to be. I've loved seeing her growth throughout the book, and knowing where she's going in the future makes me so happy, even if we never see most of it. I love that she's made mistakes and grown from them, that she's been knocked down and still got back up each time, and that she learns how to be vulnerable and open her heart up to those around her. While the romance aspect is a big part of the story—and can I just say that I love the development of Stevie and Brendon's relationship? They're so pure and special to me—it's not by any means the focal point. This story has always belonged to Stevie. She will always be my baby girl. She's exactly the character I've needed to write, and I'm going to miss her more than anything.

To be a little more specific with her character, thank you for uplifting this bisexual Native Hawaiian woman's journey. Receiving some rude comments invalidating her bisexuality was very disorienting and made me cry a lot of nights, but the overwhelmingly positive reception to Stevie made me a lot more comfortable with opening up on my own. So, thank you. Seriously. I can't explain enough how much it meant to me to see so many friends sticking up for her (and me).

I know first drafts are ~supposed~ to be messy but this is probably one of the messiest first drafts I've written (imo. I don't mean it in a bad way) but I think I'm kind of okay with that? There's definitely a lot crammed into it, hence the 200k words, but it truly feels like we're not just watching "the" moment in a character's life but just one small part of it. If that makes sense? To borrow from Marta's comment on the previous chapter—she really does have the best comments, guys—the story is very "fluid" and I think that's my favorite part about the structure and development.

To sum it all up, this story is an exploration of self-worth, friendship & platonic soulmates, and love. It explores the struggles of being a woman of color in the entertainment industry, specifically as a Native Hawaiian woman, as well as the sometimes rocky journey of working alongside friends. It's also a very healthy slow burn romance that takes its time to develop so that both characters can grow on their own as well as together. Aside from Waves, these characters feel the most real to me. The most human. I'm very proud of this cast and how they overcame all they went through.

...

I thought it'd be fun to do a little round of fun facts for this story if you're so inclined to listen to me ramble. Here we go!

1. This story was first conceptualized in late 2020 with a slightly different storyline that would've taken place over five years with characters slightly older and further along into their careers. I'd actually entertained the idea of writing a Daniel Ricciardo fanfic but quickly realized I could literally never write fanfic. So. Here we are.

2. To go along with that, and to sort of reference a question a few friends asked me, Daniel Ricciardo is a huge music guy! I don't know if he still does it but he used to recommend music every month or something and he has friends that make music as well. So because he was part of the original idea, I thought having the love interest be interested in music would tie in nicely to me writing about a lead singer in a band since I love music myself and have always wanted to write about a band. I've written other characters before who play music but not quite on this level. What having my two MCs in these very chaotic and exciting career fields did was make it easy to have these characters connect using their shared experiences of living in the spotlight. They both had to deal with public perception and expectations, traveling all over the world while generally living very exhausting lives, and, subsequently, feeling lonely at times because of it. They became each other's home away from home, in a way.

(Side note since music is such an important factor to this story: my Spotify is linked in my carrd on my profile if you're interested in checking out some of my playlists! I make one for all of my stories but Adrenaline has multiple, ofc, and they're some of my favorites to listen to!)

3. Fanfic delusions aside, Daniel was never completely lost, though. I searched for an Australian actor to use as a face claim for Brendon as I thought it'd be nice to keep him Australian, and when I remembered Felix Mallard, it was kind of perfect. He's Australian, the same age as Brendon, and can play guitar/sing. He is Brendon—the perfect one alongside my Stevie—and one of my favorite face claims I've ever decided on.

4. To honor another one of my favorite f1 drivers, Brendon's middle name is, as you know, Sebastian, named after Sebastian Vettel. I didn't follow the sport during Sebastian's prime days so I don't know him as that driver, but I think he's got one of the best personalities on the grid, is passionate about f1, and isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in. I also have a soft spot for his relationship with Lewis and how it's grown.

5. Speaking of Sir Lewis Hamilton, Idris isn't meant to be a direct carbon copy of him by any means, but because I wanted to use Mercedes aesthetics for Brendon's character, I ended up switching around the originally planned characters of Idris Johnson and Bruno Tetuanui. I think it worked out in the end because I was able to use his character to address some important viewpoints about the sport I think are critical for fans to understand, in my opinion. I try not to overstep with my social commentary regarding identities and communities I don't belong to, so hopefully, the snippets we see of Idris are done well.

6. The name MARS comes from a book I tried to write when I was younger about a band whose main characters were all modeled after me and three of my other friends. MARS is the first letter of all of our names. (Maybe these friends are people who inspired some of the Waves characters. Maybe not.)