Eddsworld: Stuck with their biggest enemy (Torm Fusion)

Tom - Help from an unlikely source

After a couple of minutes of sulking (for the record, Tord was the one who did the sulking, not me), we were finally calming down enough for the monster to finally withdraw back into the deepest, darkest parts of me. At least for a while. The process took a longer time than usual, especially since Tord was still in such a bad mood, but we were slowly getting there. It would have been so much worse if we were just stuck like this until something else snapped us out of it. Like Eduardo's superhero (or villain?) attack did last time.

Annoyingly, Matt was pouting while we were shrinking down and our eye melted back into two. I would have honestly preferred endless screams of terror the whole time over him fanboying over the monster he had only seen once. At least I would still have my dignity intact then. But nope, somehow he had gotten the impression that the rampaging monster that had attacked Edd and Eduardo was somehow... 'awesome'. Ugh.

And unfortunately, Edd was still unconscious. Maybe we had hit him a bit too hard... we should have just knocked out Matt. Being around Edd and Tord didn't suck as much as being around Matt and Tord. Even if things between me and Tord were starting to look slightly less antagonistic, it was more us just tolerating one another than really enjoying each other's company that much. So yeah, it was anything but fun.

We were sitting right next to the road for a while, just waiting to either get captured by Tord's idiot soldiers or for a vehicle to drive by that would pick us up. We didn't have much luck with that though. It had started to get dark, meaning less and less people were driving back into the city. And guess how many assholes there were who either drove faster for no reason to pass us or slowed down just so they could speed off laughing once we came close to their fancy sports car? Human interaction sucked.

After hours of waiting, Matt had begun drawing portraits of himself into the dirt while me and Tord had spent our time in silence, not very eager to talk to each other. The conversation about his army would come eventually anyway, and even if he was trying to hide things then, I could still try to peak into his head to see everything that was going on.

We almost didn't notice the car pulling up until suddenly the road in front of us was illuminated by two headlights. "Serial killer!" Matt squeaked, dashing behind us. "Save me, Torm! They'll ruin my beautiful face!" We didn't even have time to roll our eyes before the window of the car slowly pulled down and we were met with three annoying faces grinning at us. Great, just great.

"Well, well, well. Look who needs a ride back home!" Eduardo smirked. Our three neighbors glanced at each other before they shared a laugh. And Edd wouldn't even get to experience the humiliation and be able to defend himself. Somehow, that made it worse.

Edd will be so pissed about this. Especially since Eduardo seems like the kind of guy to bring it up constantly.

He will, no doubt. But Edd's just as bad though, so I wouldn't really blame him.

Jon, who was sitting in the backseat, leaned forward, resting his arms on his friends' backrests. "Why are you bozos in the woods anyway? Are you trying to go camping or something?" 

Eduardo pushed Jon's head back after his friend had leaned in too far and blocked Eduardo's face. "What happened to that loser?" He pointed at Edd, raising an eyebrow. "Is he dead?" We glanced back at Edd who was still lying unconscious in the grass, oblivious to everything. I was starting to envy him in that regard.

I hope he's not...

I thought you are in the army. Can't you guys tell if someone's alive?

Yes, but then I'd have to check his pulse. Which I haven't. I can't just magically tell.

Why haven't you before?! I swear, these people were actively trying to drive me crazy.

"He's fine. We're all fine," I groaned, putting our hands into our hoodie pockets. "You can leave now. Everything's under control here, no worries. Do whatever you're doing when you're not being a bloody pain in the ass."

"You really don't look fine..." Mark remarked, looking unimpressed. "Not even Matt does. And he cares a lot about appearances. Seriously, what did you guys do?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Matt's eyes widened and he immediately began touching his face in a panic. "Is my face okay?!" He ran around in a circle in a frenzy. I shot Mark a death glare, but he didn't seem all that bothered.

"Look, we can give you a ride home. Well... if you admit we're better than all of you, that is. That sounds like a good offer, don't you agree?" We gnashes our teeth as we stared into their smug faces. 

I would rather die than have to live through this kind of humiliation, Tord growled. Who do they think they are? At least you're not this insufferable!

Thanks, I guess? And as much as I hate to admit it, I don't think we actually have a choice with this. They are the first people actually willing to pick us up... it might take ages until someone else drives past us again.

We have great strength. We could easily throw them out of the car and drive home ourselves. Why hesitate?

Because they'd have even more reasons to hate us. As much as I dislike them, I don't want to make enemies with our neighbors. Especially not when your stupid army is searching for us!

Before we could actually come to a decision, Matt had already dashed to their car. "YourebetterthsnusbecauseIdontwanttogetmurderedpleaseletmegohome!" He squeaked and threw open the door, climbing into the backseat and quickly putting on a seatbelt like his life depended on it.

Our neighbors looked startled for a moment, especially Jon who seemed frozen somewhere between a grin and genuine shock. They quickly regained their composure though, and turned to us, smirking like they had proven something. They hadn't, not really.

"You're better than us," we grumbled in defeat, picking up Edd's unconscious body. "Can we just leave now?" Tord felt for Edd's pulse on his wrist. Yup, still alive. Even I was able to tell there was something there. It didn't seem like his training actually taught him that much.

Eduardo narrowed his eyes as he stared at us. "That loser didn't admit it." He couldn't be serious...

"Edd is out cold, what do you expect me to do?" Tord asked, glaring daggers at him. "This is just plain idiotic. We're not going to leave him behind just so you can have your power play."

"Oh, he can come with us. Just put him in the trunk." A wicked grin flashed onto Eduardo's face. Even Mark and Jon seemed taken aback.

"In the trunk...?" I repeated.

"Our backseat can't fit more than three people anyway. Unless you want to put him on your lap." No, we were definitely not doing that. I was already too close for comfort with Tord, I didn't need to become their laughing stock. So their trunk it was.

"Fine," we huffed.

"Uh, but you're not going to make fun of Edd for it, right?" Matt asked innocently.

Eduardo chuckled. "Suure, I won't. What reason would I ever have to make fun of him?"

Edd's going to be so pissed at us when he wakes up, isn't he?

Yeah, he will. But unfortunately we're beggars, not choosers. He'll have to live with it.