Tom - I'm not dead... yet

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Oh, so now he recognises me! Great. Just what we needed. I actually counted on being the strange monster that rescues them and disappears into thin air. Now the magic is just... gone. Ugh, I thought and rolled my eye.

I was glad that even though I lost control over my monster form most of the time, I could still mostly recall everything that happened. I was rather happy that I could interrupt the monster when it tried to kill people. That way, murder had never been a crime I committed. Unless I had during the first time when I had no control and which I had no recollection of whatsoever. But that was a pretty short time.

Wait, he's seen you before? When? Tord sounded nervous. Afraid. Confused. That didn't happen very often. Normally violence and gore made him cocky and I'm pretty sure it turned him on if sexy girls were the cause, but maybe having absolutely no control over any of this was the reason for his out of character behaviour. Or the fact that he'd just stormed his own base and got shot at by several of his own people. I don't know, I'm not a fucking psychologist. All I knew was that Tord was not acting like a jerk right now. 

I fought Edd back when he was a superhero that one time. Back then, both of them saw me. And a few hundred other people, but they don't really count. They weren't important. But Matt was strangely amazed by my monster form...? And I don't know why...

Well, I know. It means he's either a furry or a monster fucker.

You son of a-!"

"...Torm?" Edd's voice was shaking as he looked up at us in fear. I pet his head with a claw just like I had seen him do to Ringo to calm her down. It didn't seem to work all that much, go figure. It did work on Matt though.

No. It's still Tom and Tord. We are still two very different people, thank you very much. When will you finally get it? Tord growled. Well, that's not something I hear every day.

Oh, I'm flattered, I chuckled.

...what? I felt his confusion as I absentmindedly cut the ropes that tied our friends up.

"Guys, I'm so glad that you're here!" Matt grinned as he jumped up from his chair, throwing his hands in the air. "I was soo worried that they'd kill me or worse... hurt my beautiful face! They-"

Well, you did say my name before yours. You have to be a very selfless person to do that, I couldn't help but say smugly. My mind drifted away and I wondered how I could bring Matt and Edd outside. I didn't know if grabbing them and running to the nearest exit while they were dangling from my claws would make them feel sick or not. But since when did I care anyway?

... I'm pretty sure this wasn't the first time, Tord replied before he looked back at our friends. Matt seemed pretty happy, ranting about how they had almost hurt his oh so handsome face, but Edd seemed rather distressed. Probably because he was dying from a lack of coke. Can we still talk... in this form? Are we able to?

Unfortunately not. It would have made so many things much easier, but life's never easy. Had the two soldiers just moved again or was my mind playing tricks on me? I decided it didn't matter either way because we had run them over anyway. They didn't stand a chance against us before, they wouldn't stand a chance against us a few minutes later when they were already injured. Secret weapons be damned, Tord knew everything about this army, so we were pretty safe.

That's a shame. I was surprised when I felt a wide grin appear on our face. I guess we'll have to carry them upside down now because of what they said. We'll just say we had no control over our actions at the time because of the monster that took over. He chuckled. Suits them right.

...Tord?

Yes, Jehovah's witness? His voice wavered for a second.

I like your way of thinking. With that, I picked up the two protesting idiots. Edd calmed down faster than Matt, but stayed pretty tense as he was carried across the army base while he was hanging upside down from our claws, while Matt began to talk about all kinds of stuff when he finally got over the whole 'ruining his hair' thing.

"Stop right there or I'll shoot all of you!" Someone yelled from behind us.

Ugh, what now? We turned around to face them and noticed that Paul guy was aiming a rocket launcher directly at us. His expression was twisted into one of anger. I wonder if he would have looked at us the same if he knew Tord was in here. Probably not. Maybe Tord should reveal this to them... I won't!

Truth to be told, I'm not sure if we can take that. Bullets yes, rocket launcher, maybe. A very big maybe.

"You will never take us alive!" Matt screamed.

"What do you think you're doing?" Paul growled. Matt frowned and pointed at himself. Unfortunately we were unable to tell him that this was the typical movie talk with the mute creature the hero attacked. Even worse, Edd had opened his mouth to reply. This could only end badly.

"Oh, you know. Just HANGING AROUND," Edd grinned and made finger guns at the poor, fuming soldier. Oh for fuck's sake, Edd... you'll just get us shot!

I'll take care of it, Tord sighed and hit him on the head with one of our two free claws. At least he made sure he didn't accidentally cut him with our claws. It knocked him out cold.

Thank you! I groaned.

You're welcome. We ran back to Paul and knocked the rocket launcher out of his trembling hands and crushed it under our foot as Matt cheered. Paul dashed back into the control center as fast as he could.

See? Monsterfucker! Tord laughed.

What the hell are you on?!

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